Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
This is my first contribution to this forum.
I am finding it difficult to go out of the house because we have a rather nosey neighbour.
I am an over anxious,over sensitive panicky overthinker and avoid confrontation if at all possible.
My neighbour has some issues with us, one being my daughter (also on spectrum) and I don't talk to her. I told her her and I are on Austistic spectrum. ( We were advised to get diagnosis but I didn't want diagnosis)
She said I didn't know meaning of the word and I needed to look in a dictionary.
I have told her I was scared to come in at the end of day after work and she wasn't very supportive. If she is in front garden I have driven round until she goes.
I have said that it's best we don't talk as she only complains. She has said that we are rude and filthy.
I have spent last week's tidying and decorating so she can't complain.
Other people says she's a bully but I think my social communication and anxiety aren't helping situation and I just keep bursting into tears.
She has said that she is keeping CCTV footage of us as evidence .
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks very much for your advice.
Thank you x
Still dont let that intimidate you. It may be why shes acting up. The neighbour I had issues with is to stay away. He has resorted to yelling to people I'm talking to from across the street. People are getting fed up and hes looking stupid as I just carry on with what I was doing and dont let it bother me.
Your local council will have a department that handle neighbour disputes. Get in touch with them, tell them that you're not making a complaint or seeking direct action, but is there any guidance or support that they can offer?
They'll be able to help you identify whether the neighbour has legitimate complaints or not, how to resolve those (if there are) or provide support in handling them (if they're not). They'll usually welcome your approach and seek to assist you, especially if you're open to feedback as well, and will also have their own contacts within the police service that outrank your neighbour.
"I'm distressed because of the actions of my neighbour but I don't know if they're being unreasonable. Can you help?" might be a nice way to open the conversation.
Ps no we are both private. Her husband is policeman
Thank you for replying . I shall continue not to talk to her. That can't be against the law. I will do anything not to antagonise her...
My husband is more assertive than me but that scares me that he ll say something.
Just to add my advice dont talk to her. Go to police. Good lyck
Try and avoid all communication with her. What evidence is she gathering? I'd call 101 (is that the non emergency police number) explain the issue they can talk to her. I had a neighbour being a nuisance. The police came round and (another neighbour said after) he had prior! Now he just watches me from his garden which is sad really but hes far enough away. He tried following me again recently but I called the council and had our bin collection from outside our house not the usual place and explained about him. Is she directly next door? Is she council?