Published on 12, July, 2020
I am an adult woman with a (recent) diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome and I have been experiencing as a direct result of my diagnosis what I can only describe as meltdowns. They aren't 'angry' meltdowns - I mean - I do feel angry when I have them but I don't act in an aggressive way or break things, I just cry uncontrollably for a bit. It has occurred to me that actually, I have experienced these before as well, under other circumstances, usually alone, but it didn't really occur to me that this is not something that happens to everybody. I put it down to depression and personality - which to be fair I guess in a way is true - but now I'm starting to realise that it is probably connected to being on the spectrum.
I would like to understand more about this and I have tried to find information online, but it seems to be largely geared towards parents of autistic children and carers of more affected autistic people. What I would like is some resources to help me manage this behaviour in myself as it impacts my mental health and also to a degree my relationships with others. Does anybody know any good books that cover this? I am particularly interested in the way autism manifests in women, so if there is anything you can recommend on that subject I would be very grateful.
Or does anybody have any advice - for instance is this likely to be a direct result of my autism or could it be another mh condition? I don't really meet enough criteria for anything 'interesting' (and I have done extensive research) but I definitely have anxiety and depression.
Hang on... it just occurred to me that what I'm describing might just be better described as crying. Lol. Well anyway, any advice is appreciated.
meltdowns can also be described as shutdowns - what you describe sounds fairly common to a lot of us. My most common version is monosyllabic grunting and inability to describe what the issue is, whilst inside winding myself up into a frenzy
good books for women:
"nerdy shy and socially inappropriate" - Cynthia Kim - also her website https://musingsofanaspie.com/ - bit on meltdowns: https://musingsofanaspie.com/?s=meltdown, also shutdown: https://musingsofanaspie.com/tag/shutdown/
"odd girl out" - laura james
"aspergirls" - rudy simone
Thank you. I've will hunt those out this week. So much of the literature is tailored to men and I just find it so hard to relate to as I do not present in a male way at all (apart from maybe externalising my anger a bit) I love reading fiction and view social interaction as kind of a fun and interesting game! I am now aware this is not how most people feel about it! Haha.