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Where do I go from here-life is falling apart

NAS62726

I find myself aged 30, jobless, single and living with parents. This time last year I was renting, earning 33k a year and had a partner....but o was even more unhappy then I am now.

im a qualified social worker. I have a 6 year old son.

i was diagnosed after a private assessment with Aspergers. 

I hate living with my parents in some ways. I miss my freedom and independence. However when I lived alone I was even more unhappy as I found maintaining a household almost impossible. I became obsessed with cleaning and overwhelmed with the fact cleaning was my responsibility, bills stressed me out, I found being the only one to entertain my son exhausting as he’s a lovely child but like all children needs almost constant entertainment and attention. 

‘I want a job but when I’ve had a job I’ve never lasted long. The manager never seems to like me and while I can maintain normality in a job I find after a few days my mask starts to slip and I become exhausted, anxious and demotivated. When working 3 days a week I find I can just about cope but that’s not going to enable me to buy my own home. 

‘I’m currently on universal credit and absolutely skint. I get no disability benefits and feel I mask so well I’d never get them. 

‘I’ve got an interview for a full time job in a few weeks. It’s a subject I’m interested in so I figured it’s better than nothing as being unemployed makes me miserable. But in reality I think I will find full time work hard.

no one knows I have Aspergers. My parents would be unsupportive and I’ve no friends. 

Im honestly sat here crying because I genuinely don’t know what to do.

I am limited as I can’t drive but I fail at that too. 

‘Honestly, if you were me what would you do? Where do I start.

  • in reply to mouse2

    Thank you for the replies.

    i have just applied to received a PIP form. I am hoping my experience as a social worker will be useful for writing it.

  • in reply to Deepthought

    I understand the parent thing, my mother wouldnt accept my son was diagnosed autistic and when I suggested I may be she laughed at me. It's good they support you as when I was homeless she was too wrapped up in her life and told me to go see my dad (same with him) so I was alone! So treasure your parents for being there for you. I was alone from 16 years old

  • Firstly hello you you. As NAS50301 say's try and get help with the PIP. I dont have experience in this but didnt want to read your post and disapear.

    I was made to quit a job where I was miserable, the manager and owner belittled and bullied me the entirity of my time there. I had heard recruitment was tough so guessed that's what people meant by that and I put up with it. Often tmeltingdown at home daily or crying in the toilets.

    That's the last of a string of rubbish job's I've done to make end's meet. It really affected me mentally and I ended up on anxiety meds. Another colleague who was nowhere near as bad as the treatment I recieved also ended up on anxiety meds there.

    Anyway I've decided to get a job that I enjoy, no longer doing rubbish job's. My passion is gardening, so far no one will take me as I don't have experience so I have started a blog type instagram page to refer to on  my CV and I keep putting it off but I need money so I'm going to start my own business. It's scary as I hate the majority of people but I've decided I will be picky on clients upto a degree.

    Is there a passion you could work in? What interests you that you will stay on track? 

  • NAS62726 said:
    ‘Honestly, if you were me what would you do? Where do I start.

    Very much as states above. Maybe speak to your General Practitioner (GP) and get a referral to see an Occupational Therapist (OT) to support a claim for Personal Independence Payment (PIP). 

    NAS62726 said:
    no one knows I have Aspergers. My parents would be unsupportive and I’ve no friends. 

    Well you have informed us that you have Aspergers, and most of us here are on the spectrum and can be pen-friendly and as such supportive too. :-)

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I'm sorry that I don't have any useful advice but I am in a similar situation to you. I quit my job in Jan and have returned to full-time education as I needed a time out to figure things out. I was diagnosed in Oct 2017 and I've been miserable in work (even working 4 days a week). I've been unable to find any useful supporting resources to help me overcome the challenges I face, thus, I keep repeating the same mistakes, leading me to jump from job to job due to feelings of isolation and worthlessness. 

    Although you think you wont get PIP, it's worth filling in the form. I worked as a teacher, plus I'm now studying a PHD and I've received the enhanced rate for years. They ask you to send in photocopies of any supporting evidence, such as your autism report, OH reports etc. I do this and highlight what evidence relates to which points on the form e.g page 8 of the OH report states I need to use screen tinting software to be able to read text on a computer due to being diagnosed with Irlen syndrome. This means a lot of the assessment is based on your ability to write what you'd like them to know. Receiving PIP would not only entitle you to this source of income but it would also open up the disability enhancement of other benefits covered in your universal credit. This may give you enough money to take some time to think about what you really need.