Published on 12, July, 2020
So I'm 32 and a massive procrastinator, to the point where i literally do nothing, I'm not working and even though i'm married i'm living back with my parents(long story) this leads to a lot of problems, every one thinking and telling me i'm lazy, my physical heath is deteriorating as i don't do any exercise, don't eat properly and my personal hygiene is terrible but i can't help myself but to do nothing. I have no motivation to do anything even though i don't like being this way. I also fail at anything i put my mind too, which leads to another issue that is crippling, professionalism. If i really put my mind to something i have to get it perfect which i then neglect stuff even more and get exhausted and if i fail at said task i then beat myself up and convince myself that im stupid and useless which then makes me procrastinate. It's a violent circle that im ultimately stuck in. Im not even sure why i'm writing this post, like i don't know what im expecting to gain from writing it or what im really asking. What i will say is i hate and i mean i HATE! being called laz. God i wanna go out in the "real world" and be "normal", I want to be healthy and fit, I want to go out on days with the wife doing "normal" things like pubs, going out for food, walks, etc but i just can't. Now i feel like im rambling, don't even know what im writing but yea, i wrote it.
Do you try to-do lists? They give a sense of achievement: after every task, no matter how small, cross it off the list with heavy backwards and forwards motions. I suffer from procrastination at work and on my bad days I break my list down in to micro-chunks. For example on an average day I could write 'calculate the cost of x' but on a bad day I would write the steps underneath the main task:
So for one task I get to cross of 4 additional things.
Also consider the Eisenhower urgent/important scaling system:
Try writing a list of everything that's bothering you (include writing the list as a task!) and scale it 1-4. Have a look at how you rate things and what can be ignored - i.e. what's safe to procrastinate.
Once you have a list break it down into what's manageable for that day - never write a to-do list that's impossible to achieve because that will make you feel like a failure. On good days stretch yourself and on bad days give yourself a more modest list.
I do this everyday.
blank_smile said:Not important but urgent
Just reading this thread and a bit stuck here, can you give me some examples of this? I am really struggling with that one, thanks,
Thanks cloud7, that's a good example too and easy to understand.
Apologies, I missed your reply. Lagrangian is pretty much spot on. Urgent but not important is usually somebody's else's request. E.g. In a work environment: It is their deadline that is approaching and so you may be asked to drop everything (urgency) to come up with some figures for a meeting they are due to go to in an hour (important to them, not important to you).