Fit for work

Don't say that, the NT might take you literally. You don't mean any of it and please don't reply that you do. I am already laughing on it in anticipation. Does it help? I hear your pain. I understand your frustration. 

You need a break, a hand.

I can't be of any practical help, I am afraid, I am another aspie. But I can tell you for a fact that aspies have immense resilience, you have unbounded resilience. With what you've been through, you are still fighting. 

Remember there was a story in the news about two people who had to abandon their boat and swim 8 km to shore. I can't imagine swimming that far. But I suppose once you swam 2 km, you are quite in your stride and the shore might just bump under your feet before you even think of it. Think of those frogs stuck in the jug churning milk to butter. You already passed the danger point of panicking and giving up. You are the survivor already, the butter is going to get hard soon enough. You just need to keep kicking. 

You also need to steady up. Slower breezing, cool head. You need to keep going, so steady up and plan with your cool head. Work could be a positive thing, if it's not bullying. Try to plan who can really be of practical help, to put some rock under your foot, be it temporarily?