Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
My name is Kyle and I'm 32 years old. I am not diagnosed with autism or Asperger's, but I believe I have It or possibly something closely connected to it. My biggest problem is socialising, I can write to my hearts content in a message conversation but when it comes to physically being around someone to talk to I hardly say a word, and I'm not a very confident person either so it has taken a lot to even come on here and write this message. I tried getting diagnosed through the NHS, and was told by the nurse it was worth getting diagnosed. but nearly 7 months later there is nothing, I got in contact with her again about 3 months later and said her organisation couldn't help and she would get in contact with a couple of others that could, but once again I never heard anything. I tried contacting her for a third time but I can't get through to her, it's like she's intentionally ignoring me, along with the fact my girlfriend left me yesterday after just over a year. all that combined has left me feeling alone and trapped because I have no friends and no one to talk to. Is there anyone that could spare an hour or two of their day to talk to me through out the week?
Is it worth going for a private diagnosis? I work full time for an agency so I could afford it and because of my situation I'm desperate to just be around people like me. I do have a social group for my area but they are in different places all the time and one is in a pub, and I don't like loud places so I'm very reluctant to go.
Thank you for your input and advice, I'm definitely going the private route as I would like it done quicker. And like you I know I'll never be a sociable person because I've always struggled with that but I just feel like I need to be around people like me, almost a desperate feeling because of having someone there everyday and then for that to suddenly stop.
I was recomended that website by someone else on here and had a look, and it's something I want to look at doing.
I decide to go private and got my diagnosis that way. It was worth the money because it made sense of a lot of my life. With the diagnosis I also felt able to make a declaration to my new employer and the institution I work for have been super.
Of course, with a diagnosis doesn't come a social life and I still struggle terribly with any long term social interaction. Someone suggested meetup and that is the one place I was able to meet people I felt comfortable being round - via a boardgames meetup . I haven't been to the group in a long time because of other commitments but nonetheless I can recommend looking on there.
If a diagnosis is important to you (which I can understand) and you can afford it then go the private route.
To be honest I'd much rather go for the private because I want it done as soon as possible. So thank you for your advice, It's helped make my mind up. I hope you are doing well :)
I can relate a lot to what you are saying. I would recommend going for a private diagnosis, as it's much faster than the NHS, and from many people's experience its often also more thorough.
Thank you for the welcome. I did get referred by my GP with a list and she didn't really have a clue about where to refer me, it was only because it said where to on the list I gave her. so I'm wondering whether I should try and find a doctor with experience in diagnosing the condition?
I'm sorry to hear about your past, I hope you are better now :)
well I want to use the private as a last resort really, so I want to try everything I can first.
I'll have a look on the forum and see if I feel like chipping in, but that's always been difficult for me. I want to try though.
Welcome to the forum. You are in the right place to get to connect with other autistic people. Hopefully, you'll find new friends and enjoy your stay here. I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. I had very difficult patches in the past. Your experience is similar to many people on the spectrum.
Have you been referred by your GP formally? I am wondering whether going to your GP with a list of your 'symptoms' for each of the three autism diagnostic criteria, and your recent worries and feelings would help to speed up the diagnosis. The wait could be more than 2 years in some parts of the country, but the GP has a role to play in speeding it up. It wouldn't hurt to relaunch it with the GP even if they already referred you, keep pestering them.
The private dx is worthwhile if you can afford it. It depends how important the certainty and closure are for you, and whether it could help addressing your anxiety. I have a history of depression and knowing my dx helped my to analyse my anxieties and emotional problems with the right 'key'.
On the social side, have browsed the forum? You might find some conversations that could cheer you up :)
Thank you, I just had a look at that website and it seems like it would be very useful to me, though at the same time nerve racking but it's worth trying it out because I need it. Thank you for your words and advice, I really appreciate the help.
Hi Kyle :) try to understand what a diagnosis will mean for you. If you are desperate to know either way, and you can afford to go private, it will be much much faster than NHS. However, a diagnosis will not help with socialising. You can go to your GP about social anxiety or generalised anxiety and they should be able to provide a variety of medication or CBT whilst you are considering a diagnosis. Also, if you would like to try and meet new people with similar interests, try the website Meetup which is where local people create groups. It sounds scary but most of the people going don't know anyone else so you are all in the same situation. There are quite a lot of these groups aimed at people who want to make new friends, or suffer from anxiety etc. Hope that helps a little :)
Thank you for your words, I'm still struggling to come to terms with everything so it means a lot to know someone cares.
I’m glad you here Kyle and have shared what sounds like a great deal of upheaval, upset and uncertainty.
Other people here will post and reply so hold on tight and remember you mean something :)