Monday morning thoughts - persistent themes

Just sharing some of my on-going thoughts about who I am and how I can be kinder to myself. Partly because this forum has become a place for me to journal my observations so that I know where they all are, but also because I know that some people are finding my ramblings useful.

This is about the "Irrespective of the diagnosis ....." thread of thoughts.

What I've realised is that even if I don't get a DX for ASD, the things mentioned in my report about social communication and imagination are real, significant (at least to me) and persisting. They have been with me since childhood. Attempts that I've made to "address my weaknesses" (which is what I felt encouraged to do by the corporate work environment) led to anxiety, depression and burnout.

  • I have no friends in real life. I have comfortable acquaintances and I am happy to share conversations about life (reciprocally too) and help each-other psychologically, but that's about the limit of it.
  • I have little interest in family beyond my wife & children.
  • I'm happy with this

I've learned that I often need to escape from interaction, emotion, and noise. Intellectual pursuits, music, hobbies and solo fitness exercises are healthy ways to achieve this. I'm no longer drawn to unhealthy ways of achieving this and I think that's all down to the greater understanding of myself and, crucially, acceptance of myself in the face of societal / familial pressure.

So that's all positive :-)