Published on 12, July, 2020
Just collated this list..........honestly I will stop thinking about it soon & getting it down here will help get my mind off it (stops me worrying that I'll forget something!).
Still haven't had official confirmation of my ADOS date (told by phone last week that it's mid July) but will be glad to get it done.
Still can't imagine how ADOS will fill in the gaps, as it focusses on Social aspects rather than RRBs ..................
Score on the RBQ2a (a new standardised self-report on Restricted and Repetitive behaviours in Adults) is 1.6. This is 0.53 standard deviations away from the ASD score in the reference, and 1.84 standard deviations away from the NT score.
EDIT 5th June 2019 - added a few extras to the list and decided I'm going to print out and show my GP when I see her later this month...........
I'm done with Christmas Cards said:Happy people have low standards
Yes.
LOL. Yep, I believe it's not normal either to want to know yourself as deeply as I want to know myself, to have visualised force vector diagrams when I opened doors when I was a teenager, or to wish I could visualise the equations of quantum mechanics in the same way I can visualise vector calculus and Fourier transforms, nor to prefer these significantly to how your cousin is doing on his birthday.
When I was badly depressed for the first time at the turn of the millennium, I did a serious bit of analysis to discover why I was unhappy and others apparently were carefree, and I genuinely concluded "Happy people have low standards" :-).
Ahhhh..... yes, the failure to dig deep enough. "You go abroad, so you can't be autistic!" (But I go to the same room in the same hotel and travel with the same person, go to only one beach and always buy a bacon sandwich from the guy by the second breakwater on the beach).
The one in my report that niggles me is "You completed a PhD and were able to structure the work yourself. This involved detailed organisation plans." (No, I went to the same lab every day, parked in the same car park, ate the same lunch from the same shop, got stressed if I needed to ask the workshop to make something for me and moved heaven and earth to make it myself instead, and planning consisted of following my nose writing and rewriting software until something worked, then I bought myself a portable computer and wrote it up at home).
As far as clothes go, I wear the same outfit for as long as I can once I find something I'm comfortable with because the change is annoying (different feel) and if it's not broke why fix it? Every time my wife stresses over choosing something for tea, I tell her that the ideal solution is to pick 13 meals that we love and rotate them in sequence; that way we wouldn't eat the same thing on the same day for ages but would never have to worry about what's next :-).
I got chatting to an OCD researcher yesterday - a lot of the things I thought were just sensble are classed as obsessive by NTs. Things like arriving early to appointments and doing things properly and fully are *not normal*.
Who knew?
After talking to her, I'm having to re-evaluate a lot of my behaviours as it appears NT's sense of 'normality' is way worse than I had imagined.
Yes is appears so. Several times in my clinical interview I was asked "But you *could* do it?" when asked about things like changes in routine that would cause me anxiety and stress. It's almost like you have to present as inflexibly as a mechanical robot with hard limits for the symptoms to count.
So the fact that I can *force* myself to sit in a noisy pub beyond the point where I would naturally choose to leave means that I'm not limited by my aversion to chaotic noise. The fact that I *can* tear myself away from my isolated hobby to socialise with unexpected house guests means that my inner yearning to get back to my solitary thoughts isn't relevant.
This strikes me as not recognising the huge effort needed to comply, that has led on a couple of occasions to burnout.
Because I've learned to cope, I have no problems (rolleyes).
Yeah, also 'stereotyped/repetitive behaviours' - I wear a short-sleeved white shirt, tie and smart trousers Mon-Thu even though my workplace has a casual dress policy... so does this 'count'... my psychologist says 'Yes', on the basis that a Bank Holiday Monday ruins my pattern (I wear a shirt twice) as does not having a shirt available on a 'shirt' day, to the extent I seriously considered being late to work so I could, wash, dry and iron a shirt.
Equally, my psychologist spoke about a patient who (contrary to common wisdom about people with autism) does go abroad - but they always book the same room in the same hotel... so on the surface they 'don't look autistic' to use that ld chestnut - but it's because they've learned to camouflage...
Thank you so much! :-). Yes, I was thinking that I should do a trawl through my previous posts to see if there is anything to add, and you've mentioned a couple there. When I get chance, I'll do an update.
Yes it's the decades of masking that bothers me............
Can I just clarify: Even though you do have routines (as you've stated) because they don't cause significant difficulties it's been dismissed as a symptom of autism? Avoiding going on holiday or certain events and even eating the same thing everyday seems significant to me? If you're able to accommodate and adapt to changes in routine is it not through learnt behaviour through years of masking?
Original Prankster makes a valid point too
This from the 'scalp picking' thread: "OMG me too! I often have to shave it off and start again to level it to the bald patch :-)" indicates repetitive behaviour
I'm sure I've seen a ton of other 'me too!' type comments from you that reinforce repetitive behaviour and adherence to routine...
Some of the other 'negatives' or 'no evidence of' are things I think decades of masking would cause...