People pick on me all the time and no one gets it. I can't be myself. They try to force me to be something else and even if I dressed like them, talked like them, walked like them, they'd still tear into me.
I've heard people say look for the people you can get along with but I can't find them.
Every day I go outside I feel like crying, sometimes I do get home and cry.
Hi there,
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through a bad time. Life can be very tough sometimes for everyone, and for autistic people it is harder to feel and be understood.
It's difficult to advise someone when they are feeling really down, but you could try to think about all the things you love in life, the things you love to see, hear and do. I'm sure that no one can take those away from you. Usually as autistic people we enjoy doing a lot of things on our own anyway, so, even though we can really want friends, while we're waiting to meeting them, we can spend time doing the things we like doing and enjoying doing them.
I think that as you spend some time letting yourself do the things you like to do, you will start to feel a bit better. Try to really focus on them and not on what you don't have.
As far as friends go, take your time. It's not always about being chosen by others, it's also to do with choosing them. You won't want people around you who make you feel rubbish and bring you down, so don't spend time with them unless you have to. When you meet people who are genuinely interested in you (which you will do, because the world is a big place :) ), then you can invest time in getting to know them too, asking about their lives, trying to listen to them, trying to remember what they've told you before etc. (all this takes time and practice).
So my advice would be, give yourself a little break from trying to find friends and take time to do the things you like to do to look after yourself. Then, in the longer term perhaps join a couple of clubs where you can meet people who like doing the same things as you. Focus on the hobbies/activities and having fun with people, not on trying to make friends, and in time the friends will come.
Don't give up, there are so many interesting people in the world!!
Also, be yourself. Never mind whether they will or won't accept you. Enjoy being who you are and try to be the most positive form of yourself that that you can be (shutting out the negatives that may drag you down). this is for your benefit, so that you will feel good about yourself.
But I believe part of why people tear into me is because I'm sensitive and I look it and it annoys people. I dress in colourful clothes unlike most men and that annoys people, I do it because wearing the clothes most men wear makes me feel depressed. But I don't like being judged for needing to wear bright clothes to feel happier either. My face too is emotional and I think that offends people, they prefer men who look macho and tough.
In school I was beat up a lot and namecalled a lot, probably because the other children knew I got upset more than some kids. I never finished school. Same happened in college, got made fun of by classmates. When I volunteered was given the cold shoulder and inferior treatment to others. It all adds up.
Hi, just wanted to let you know you're not alone in finding the typical male stereotype unappealing. I also hate that men's clothes tend to come only in navy blue, brown or grey, and I find it depressing too. I've never understood the fascination with football, and that it's seen as somehow defective and/or suspicious if you don't drink beer.
I grew up in a northern, bitter-drinking, smoking, football-obsessed region where intellectual skills were derided (out of some psychological defence against envy I think) & I hated it. I used to hear so often "That's just book learnin' - I went to the university of life me!" (I wish I had been quick enough to point out that students who go to actual universities go to the university of life *as well*!).
Thing *are* changing though. Society is coming to realise that male and female stereotypes don't really help anyone, and that everyone is their own person. Unfortunately, it's a really slow process and not even across all of our subcultures.
I was bullied at school too if it helps.
I know it's really difficult when you're hurting as much as you are at the moment to see the positives in life and taking advice from anyone is almost impossible.
The way I've found my way out of these situations is to find a spark of enthusiasm or glimmer of hope within myself and nurture it. It doesn't matter how small or trivial it is. For me, it was "I love coffee and I'm going to make one and drink it". I enjoyed the coffee, and the logic of "Happy thought -> pleasurable activity" was re-established.
Give yourself permission to breathe and simply enjoy breathing - sod the rest of them!
Hi, just wanted to let you know you're not alone in finding the typical male stereotype unappealing. I also hate that men's clothes tend to come only in navy blue, brown or grey, and I find it depressing too. I've never understood the fascination with football, and that it's seen as somehow defective and/or suspicious if you don't drink beer.
I grew up in a northern, bitter-drinking, smoking, football-obsessed region where intellectual skills were derided (out of some psychological defence against envy I think) & I hated it. I used to hear so often "That's just book learnin' - I went to the university of life me!" (I wish I had been quick enough to point out that students who go to actual universities go to the university of life *as well*!).
Thing *are* changing though. Society is coming to realise that male and female stereotypes don't really help anyone, and that everyone is their own person. Unfortunately, it's a really slow process and not even across all of our subcultures.
I was bullied at school too if it helps.
I know it's really difficult when you're hurting as much as you are at the moment to see the positives in life and taking advice from anyone is almost impossible.
The way I've found my way out of these situations is to find a spark of enthusiasm or glimmer of hope within myself and nurture it. It doesn't matter how small or trivial it is. For me, it was "I love coffee and I'm going to make one and drink it". I enjoyed the coffee, and the logic of "Happy thought -> pleasurable activity" was re-established.
Give yourself permission to breathe and simply enjoy breathing - sod the rest of them!
