Life has broken my heart

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through a bad time. Life can be very tough sometimes for everyone, and for autistic people it is harder to feel and be understood.

It's difficult to advise someone when they are feeling really down, but you could try to think about all the things you love in life, the things you love to see, hear and do. I'm sure that no one can take those away from you. Usually as autistic people we enjoy doing a lot of things on our own anyway, so, even though we can really want friends, while we're waiting to meeting them, we can spend time doing the things we like doing and enjoying doing them.

I think that as you spend some time letting yourself do the things you like to do, you will start to feel a bit better. Try to really focus on them and not on what you don't have.

As far as friends go, take your time. It's not always about being chosen by others, it's also to do with choosing them. You won't want people around you who make you feel rubbish and bring you down, so don't spend time with them unless you have to. When you meet people who are genuinely interested in you (which you will do, because the world is a big place :) ), then you can invest time in getting to know them too, asking about their lives, trying to listen to them, trying to remember what they've told you before etc. (all this takes time and practice).

So my advice would be, give yourself a little break from trying to find friends and take time to do the things you like to do to look after yourself. Then, in the longer term perhaps join a couple of clubs where you can meet people who like doing the same things as you. Focus on the hobbies/activities and having fun with people, not on trying to make friends, and in time the friends will come.

Don't give up, there are so many interesting people in the world!!

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through a bad time. Life can be very tough sometimes for everyone, and for autistic people it is harder to feel and be understood.

It's difficult to advise someone when they are feeling really down, but you could try to think about all the things you love in life, the things you love to see, hear and do. I'm sure that no one can take those away from you. Usually as autistic people we enjoy doing a lot of things on our own anyway, so, even though we can really want friends, while we're waiting to meeting them, we can spend time doing the things we like doing and enjoying doing them.

I think that as you spend some time letting yourself do the things you like to do, you will start to feel a bit better. Try to really focus on them and not on what you don't have.

As far as friends go, take your time. It's not always about being chosen by others, it's also to do with choosing them. You won't want people around you who make you feel rubbish and bring you down, so don't spend time with them unless you have to. When you meet people who are genuinely interested in you (which you will do, because the world is a big place :) ), then you can invest time in getting to know them too, asking about their lives, trying to listen to them, trying to remember what they've told you before etc. (all this takes time and practice).

So my advice would be, give yourself a little break from trying to find friends and take time to do the things you like to do to look after yourself. Then, in the longer term perhaps join a couple of clubs where you can meet people who like doing the same things as you. Focus on the hobbies/activities and having fun with people, not on trying to make friends, and in time the friends will come.

Don't give up, there are so many interesting people in the world!!

Also, be yourself. Never mind whether they will or won't accept you. Enjoy being who you are and try to be the most positive form of yourself that that you can be (shutting out the negatives that may drag you down). this is for your benefit, so that you will feel good about yourself.