No one will listen to me

What do you do when no one will recognise your point of view?

Parents
  • Wow~ this thread is amazing~ I just want to say thanks for asking this question!!!
    This very same question has troubled me lots in life as well. And I can relate to many of the replies that people have given!
    So thanks also for the responses that people have given, as it makes me feel not so alone.

    I get the impression that it' more about style than substance.

    I can definitely relate to this. From my observations of neurotypicals, it seems that some people are just good at "manipulating" others to get what they want. For example, acting "cute" to get extra leniency for not completely their work. Or acting exaggeratingly apologetic when they had a change of plans to do something they enjoyed better rather than do their commitment with you. Or acting like they are an expert at something, but in reality only know about it very superficially. So many examples. I don't really like how neurotypicals can often get their way by style, but if what they did was communicated differently, the action would be frowned at.

    I find systematically taking apart the opposing point of view, pointing out very flaw and demolishing it from the foundations up usually works...

    Yeah, I do the same thing too. I care a *lot* about logic. I also point out flaws about the opposing view very systematically. But what I often get from neurotypicals is that they just stop listening. They do not care about logic. Even though I am analysing their view very systematically, point by point. They hear one thing that is in disagreement with their view, they just stop listening. And even though I'm only debating on the topic and not the person, they somehow think it's a personal attack. People could be really mean and not listen at all... they ignore emails if it's in an email; or they completely interrupt my speech if we were talking...

    I get that a lot, people think that because I have ASD i’m crazy or have know right to be heard even though I’m probably smarter than them and have more knowledge on the subject than them.

    Yeah...I kind of worry about that too. It's one of the reasons I'm afraid of disclosing, as they might think a diagnosis is a medical evidence that one is cognitively incompetent. Though, even without disclosing, I think people still think I'm weird, and they my views are worth less, and just don't pay attention whenever I try to explain something.

    I tend to talk to people with ASD or just smart people if I’m talking about something with a viewpoint on.

    Yeah. I think I enjoy talking to smart people and people with ASD, basically people who can analyse things logically. I wish I knew more ASD people in real life though!

Reply
  • Wow~ this thread is amazing~ I just want to say thanks for asking this question!!!
    This very same question has troubled me lots in life as well. And I can relate to many of the replies that people have given!
    So thanks also for the responses that people have given, as it makes me feel not so alone.

    I get the impression that it' more about style than substance.

    I can definitely relate to this. From my observations of neurotypicals, it seems that some people are just good at "manipulating" others to get what they want. For example, acting "cute" to get extra leniency for not completely their work. Or acting exaggeratingly apologetic when they had a change of plans to do something they enjoyed better rather than do their commitment with you. Or acting like they are an expert at something, but in reality only know about it very superficially. So many examples. I don't really like how neurotypicals can often get their way by style, but if what they did was communicated differently, the action would be frowned at.

    I find systematically taking apart the opposing point of view, pointing out very flaw and demolishing it from the foundations up usually works...

    Yeah, I do the same thing too. I care a *lot* about logic. I also point out flaws about the opposing view very systematically. But what I often get from neurotypicals is that they just stop listening. They do not care about logic. Even though I am analysing their view very systematically, point by point. They hear one thing that is in disagreement with their view, they just stop listening. And even though I'm only debating on the topic and not the person, they somehow think it's a personal attack. People could be really mean and not listen at all... they ignore emails if it's in an email; or they completely interrupt my speech if we were talking...

    I get that a lot, people think that because I have ASD i’m crazy or have know right to be heard even though I’m probably smarter than them and have more knowledge on the subject than them.

    Yeah...I kind of worry about that too. It's one of the reasons I'm afraid of disclosing, as they might think a diagnosis is a medical evidence that one is cognitively incompetent. Though, even without disclosing, I think people still think I'm weird, and they my views are worth less, and just don't pay attention whenever I try to explain something.

    I tend to talk to people with ASD or just smart people if I’m talking about something with a viewpoint on.

    Yeah. I think I enjoy talking to smart people and people with ASD, basically people who can analyse things logically. I wish I knew more ASD people in real life though!

Children
  • I get the impression that it' more about style than substance.
    I don't know how to respond to this bit of the thread. Anyway, just to say that I agree. It is a generalisation, but I think some NT can be very hard to deal with because they play a lot of games and act in different ways to achieve things. I can feel as though they are cheating and not playing fair, I'd say... It's easy to see through these things, isn't it?!