Assessment - questionnaire for parent/relative?

In addition to what has been said about writing about your own personal history and experiences,  if you have some old school reports especially from primary school these could be very useful, also any examples of school work which may have been kept.  Even if you havent got them you may remember some things that were said or where  misunderstandings occurred which could add to the picture

I don't know if firemonkey and I are talking about the same questionnaire. Mine was a relative's questionnaire, most questions were about my behaviours when I was a child between 4-10 years old, though there were a few questions that were about younger ages. I didn't download it, but it was sent to me by mail, along with all the other questionnaires I was asked to fill in before the assessment. 

Thank you. Do you remember what questionnaire it was? The assessors didn't really push for it but I think they would prefer some input from someone who knew me as a child. I don't have very many memories so it's not that easy for me to answer certain questions. But I would love to see the questionnaire you used so I can either fill it in myself or see if I can extract some information from my mum...

Hi. I had the same problem with you. I wanted to keep the assessment private from my parents. So I filled out the parent/relative questionnaire myself based on my memories. I told the assessor that I filled it myself based on my memories and imagining how I would answer if I were my parents would answer those questions. He was fine with it. We talked about my childhood during the final assessment. He seemed to think that mine was a clear case despite I wasn't able to provide a parent to fill in the forms. It was noted in the diagnostic report that I filled in this questionnaire myself. You could ask your assessor if you could do the same thing, or still have an assessment without the questionnaire (for mine, that questionnaire was actually optional). If you read the posts on this forum, there are actually lots of people who didn't have parental input for their assessment, either due to their parents being old aged or deceased, or due to wanting to have the assessment kept private from family. It may be harder to guarantee a diagnostic conclusion without sufficient information though. I think what had been useful would be to provide a personal history for the assessor to read. Lots of people on this forum have recommended this. It also seems more personal and informative than a few yes/no questions on a questionnaire. As your personal history can cover things not mentioned on the questionnaire.

It's totally understandable that you feel stressed after your appointment. It is a very intense process and I know I spent a lot of time after my appointment going over and over what I said. 

No worries at all, anything is helpful x I just don't think I can tell her, as with you it would lead to so many follow up questions and I would have to explain myself so much at the risk of being mocked or at least not being taken seriously. She's also not trustworthy and would tell everyone about it. I would prefer to just be able to ask but I have a very strange relationship with my parents and I don't feel ready to do that. But I'm worried it will mean that I won't be able to get a diagnosis either way which is my worst case scenario, being told they don't have enough infomation.

My appointment today didn't even go badly and everyone was really friendly but I feel extremely low and stressed out about it now. I thought getting the first appointment out of the way would relieve some of the stress but I feel worse somehow.

Sorry just realised that I didn't actually answer your question!

Hello. I felt the same as you initially. I asked my GP to be referred for assessment almost two years ago and after the screening appointment last summer I began a full assesment at the beginning of November 2018. I had no intention of telling my parents unless I got a diagnosis but there didn't really seem like any other option. The psychologist said they would be unable to diagnose me without information from someone who knows me well, and there was no one else to ask. So in the end I just picked up the phone and told them. It was rather awkward but they were actually much more accepting than I expected. My dad has found it difficult and always has an answer to counteract anything I say as evidence ,but I've had a few good conversations with my mum and she was able to think of some things from my childhood that I was unaware of. The thing that worried me about telling them was that I have spent 35 years trying extremely hard to pretend that I don't find a lot of things extremely hard and have always tried to present myself in a certain way to my parents to try to hide my social difficulties. So telling them about my assessment has meant exposing myself to them and admitting my difficulties, and so I will find this very hard if I do not get a diagnosis. However, I can at least tell them that I did have good reason to consider a diagnosis, or I wouldn't have gotten past the screening appointment. Also there will be a greater level of openness between us which may improve our relationship in the long run. 

I also totally understand what you said about your feelings of doubt and feeling like you are wasting their time. But I suspect that if you have identified things in yourself that suggest autism you are very likely to have done a huge amount of research and self evaluation (as I have!) and I don't think you would have gotten so far without very good reason.