Why did it take 12 years?

I'm 54 and only just been assessed and diagnosed with ASD.

I had a breakdown after bullying at work, 75 hour weeks and high stress levels.

I spent 12 years under the community mental health team. They diagnosed chronic severe depression and anxiety and at various times have even diagnosed borderline personality disorder. In those 12 years I have only had 12 hours of counselling,  been on every antidepressant going and even been subjected to ECT.

About 3 years ago I found an ex on Facebook who was a nurse. She told me I had always had ASD and it was obvious. This helped things, in my own mind, begin to make sense. I'd been in a school for Maladjusted Children as a teen.

I raised it with my GP and the CMHT. My GP made a referral. The CMHT took no notice. As soon as I was on the waiting list, CMHT refused to carry on 'treating ' me. They went as far as to say they would only treat me if I came off the Neuropsychology waiting list.

3 weeks ago, after 2 years of waiting, I finally received a diagnosis of ASD. 

During the 2 years on the waiting list I had the crisis team out several times as my mental health care was left to my GP.

Life is already making more sense. I'm not weird, I'm just me.

I still have no idea what happens next. Do I start to get the right support and treatment?

Will This come via the GP or will I be referred to a specialist?

My big question would be: Shouldn't the mental health professionals spotted the ASD? Aren't they trained? Should I ever have been given the harmful drugs I've had? Should I ever have been given ECT?

The last 12 years have been hell. I lost my job, my home and everything I own. I lost my wife.

I feel that if I'd understood myself and ASD I would have coped better and not had the breakdown. If I'd been diagnosed earlier I'm sure I would have dealt with the depression and anxiety better and could have dealt with things better.