I’ve posted before. Feeling worse every day for years, but really feel at the end now as not bothering getTing out of bed , isolating myself, can only see comfort in ending it all. Feel a burden to my lovely family, arrested by police for trying to get rid of suicidal thinking, my story only told in a dreadful way all over papers and internet and tv. Humiliation shame . This is the cause of many suicides. Seeing professionals but they have made things worse.
probably my last post here.
seems like lots of teenagers, but I am older and a doctor
i hope this is not the end but run out of hope now
Sir, if you are clinically depressed, follow the directions of a relevant doctor. As a gp you advised patients how to treat their symptoms/diseases. How did you feel about the patients who didn’t follow your advice? You have plenty of support after all.
Secondly, as with many others both on this forum and not, life is full of seeming injustices. We need to leave these behind, in the past. There is nothing unique about injustice. It can happen to anybody. You are not commited to prison. However, pursuing someone is harassment. Others go to prison for it.
Thirdly the dark web caused the problem, yet you are still going there. You cannot play around on dark web or hacking etc without inviting trouble. You are obsessed to the point of being in danger of breaking the law again.
You repeatedly talk about suicide, yet you seem to be requesting huge publicity. I for one don’t do publicity nor do I believe autism, even when diagnosed, is an excuse to break the law. It’s a mitigating circumstance.
You have family etc etc. Aren’t they more precious than money and prestige? You owe it to them to treat your depression and obsession. You could come out the other side of this more positive, or you could kill yourself. It would be sad for the people who love you, I would be sad. But all in all, it’s your decision.
If you really are tortured, phone the hospital or NHS numbers you must know so well. It would take humility to accept the right help, but your family etc and us would be so relieved. They would see the person they love come back. I know doctors make the worst patients, but sometimes you just have to take your own medicine.
A very aggressive response that seems to have changed the subsequent posts.
I have tried medical help for 6 years and know that it doesn't work. I have tried hospitalisation but that was further shame and humiliation and the WHO have avoided making comment about hospitalisation for suicidal ideation as it is controversial; in some it may make matters worse. There is no evidence it saves lives
I was trying artificial intellgence techniques and didn't believe (and still dont ) that I was breaking the law, but I was and remain desperate and so am taking risks.
As far as pursuing someone;it was one text asking for an apppointment , a 5 second call, which he aborted and then a short text, stating my disappointment.These were my only contacts over 4 years.
Of course my family are the most important and I do not want to die , but know that the shame, humiliation, financial loss, career ending and injustice, have already nearly killed me and dramatically reduced my life expectancy.
And now the idea that I am a despicable troll. Thanks a lot.
I was hoping for some helpful comments and to give insight into suicidal thinking in Aspies. Cyberbullying was mentioned; Is that referring to my request for help or the critical comments here?
I think I have tried all possible approaches and was looking for any other ideas. Maybe writing helps??
I have always been open and honest, but realise my social communication skills are very poor - as is evident here