I'll probably never understand people

I've had a few friendship rejections too, they can hurt as well. Sorry your relationship ended. I've only had brief relationships that were stressful and claustrophobic. There wasn't any passion either. I did see some of the difficulties relationships can present, how you have to arrange everything around another person.

You know what? No matter who you ask you'll get a different opinion, even NTs we are all different my experience has never been that great but somebody else could say something different. It's one of those things that only you can figure out, and no I don't and never will understand others but I'm coming to the conclusion I should accept that and make my own conclusions, not sure if this helps you though, sorry

Roswell said:

Are we Aspies not allowed to win an argument?

I don't think I'm really assertive enough to try to win an argument.  I just end up thinking 'Okay, have it your way.  I can't be bothered any more.'

Even if I did win an argument, it would probably be dismissed.  'Don't take any notice of him.  He's impaired!'

Repeated romantic rejections, repeated friendship rejections, repeated inability to understand what the hell was wrong with me (nothing, as I discovered at diagnosis... it's everyone else!)... they all led me to self-medicate.  I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic, but I'm certainly a problem drinker, and I know where it can lead. 

I think, post-diagnosis, I've gained a lot more acceptance of myself and am more comfortable with who I am.  I'm 60 soon.  After my last relationship ended 3 years ago, I made the decision not to look any more.  I can live without it.  Life is much easier.  Which isn't to say that I don't think it would be nice to have a special someone in my life.

It helps me, in a way, to look around at the sheep and think 'Thank goodness I'm not like that.'  I don't understand them, and they don't understand me.  That's fine. I can live with that now, just about.

I became an alcoholic to cope with repeated romantic rejections. I don't think I'll ever recover. Ah well, maybe I'll get the last laugh. Perhaps it's better to die of alcohol poisoning at 40 than be in a nursing home at 80.

I agree with you on politics, it's a waste of time debating. Are we Aspies not allowed to win an argument? As you say it's social status. 

I believe the same phenomenon happens in romance. Some men I believe use their friends to try to get a woman, for example by getting them to talk to her about how great he is, or using the friend as a conduit to meet them. A lot of it seems to me to be based on reputation.

I'm not sure about giving advice for romantic situations.  I've had too many failures in that regard to be able to think of myself as a reliable source of information.  But all the same, I know what you mean.  As I said elsewhere, I'm getting increasingly tired at work with being told conflicting things by different people regarding policies and procedures. 

'That's a controlled medication'.  'No it isn't.' 'Yes it is.'

'So-and-so is allergic to dairy products.'  'No he isn't.'  'But it says he is in his care plan.'  'Then his care plan must be wrong.'

etc...

Sometimes I think it's that people either like to come across as an authority (so it's a status thing), or they just don't like to be told they're wrong by a relative underling.

Surely, what matters is the truth.  Not that one's status is being challenged.

It's why I can no longer get involved in debates about politics, religion, Brexit, etc.  Everyone seems to be more interested in sticking to their own guns (often based on conditioning or prejudice) than in exploring options and looking for truths.

Romantic situations are all about 'feelings'.  They can't be measured so there is no right or wrong answer, just answers that are more appropriate to the situation - which also changes dynamically.  It's difficult.