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I'll probably never understand people

Roswell

I asked for advice regarding a romantic situation on here and the advice given here conflicted with what was given somewhere else. Another person I know offline said something totally different too.

This is why I don't think I'll ever understand people. I believe this is something Professor Gregory Bates calls a double bind. A situation in which seemingly one cannot tell wrong from right or which direction to take because of conflicting ideas or influences that cancel each other out.

Parents

  • I'm not sure about giving advice for romantic situations.  I've had too many failures in that regard to be able to think of myself as a reliable source of information.  But all the same, I know what you mean.  As I said elsewhere, I'm getting increasingly tired at work with being told conflicting things by different people regarding policies and procedures. 

    'That's a controlled medication'.  'No it isn't.' 'Yes it is.'

    'So-and-so is allergic to dairy products.'  'No he isn't.'  'But it says he is in his care plan.'  'Then his care plan must be wrong.'

    etc...

    Sometimes I think it's that people either like to come across as an authority (so it's a status thing), or they just don't like to be told they're wrong by a relative underling.

    Surely, what matters is the truth.  Not that one's status is being challenged.

    It's why I can no longer get involved in debates about politics, religion, Brexit, etc.  Everyone seems to be more interested in sticking to their own guns (often based on conditioning or prejudice) than in exploring options and looking for truths.

  • in reply to Martian Tom

    I agree with you on politics, it's a waste of time debating. Are we Aspies not allowed to win an argument? As you say it's social status. 

    I believe the same phenomenon happens in romance. Some men I believe use their friends to try to get a woman, for example by getting them to talk to her about how great he is, or using the friend as a conduit to meet them. A lot of it seems to me to be based on reputation.

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  • in reply to Martian Tom

    I agree with you on politics, it's a waste of time debating. Are we Aspies not allowed to win an argument? As you say it's social status. 

    I believe the same phenomenon happens in romance. Some men I believe use their friends to try to get a woman, for example by getting them to talk to her about how great he is, or using the friend as a conduit to meet them. A lot of it seems to me to be based on reputation.

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