Taking things the wrong way = arguments

I’ve just joined this community because for some time I’ve been thinking that my boyfriend may be somewhere on the spectrum.

he seems to get wound up by little things, like the fact my plates were square & they annoyed him.

he has s very strong sense of smell and smells can annoy him - and he reacts to it going in and in about it 

the more I’ve been with him the more I notice the little things.

if he gets home & im in the middle of something, he gets irate if I can’t immediately seitchbehat im doing and get into his agenda

He teases me and jokes when it’s on his terms, but if I do something similar and he’s not in the mood he gets really angry with me.

theres then no way to apologise or calm him down - he just goes off for hours & cant see anything from my point of view.

hes never able to say sorry it seems to acknowledge that the things he says to me in an argument are hurtful to me - because in his mind I’m in the wrong

now this may just sound like he’s a difficult person or just a bad boyfriend, but I think there’s more to it than that. I work with children with asd & autism so I’m not completely lacking in knowledge 

Any advice or ideas?!