Quiet!

Nooooooo bad idea lol

That's funny you should say that, she doesn't do it so much at my house, I think because shes aware my OH quite likes a bit of quiet as well

Blimey if I did that she'd be in a right huff not worth the hassle shes said before she knows she talks to much and I think Yea and..... and then she carries on and on...... I think some of Kitsuns ear plugs might be the way to go 

Lol, That sounds like Vicky Pollard from Little Britain, 'well bad', made me chuckle...

This did just make me chuckle! Sounds like you'd be best off just nodding and going 'uh huh' occasionally while wearing ear plugs so you can't actually hear them :-)

Good way to ensure the house is spotless, invite mum round for the weekend! :-)

My wife used to get that from her mum. "You watch Coronation Street don't you?" / "No mum" / "What do you think to Ken Barlow's girlfriend?".

Reminds me of when I was getting stick from my family for drifting off at mealtimes when elder stepdaughter would be telling us about her day, in that teenage way of telling stories backwards:

"OMG it was well bad because Sarah had to go to hospital 'cos Freya was in a right state 'cos the dog bit John, and then Sam had to comfort her 'cos Julie had to go for a wee 'cos she'd left her lunch at home".

I decided to deploy my newly-acquired workplace coaching skills, both as a way of demonstrating interest and to stop myself falling asleep in my dinner.

"OMG it was well bad because Sarah...."

Me: "Sorry, who's Sarah?"

"Sarah - James' brother - anyway it doesn't matter"

"OK"

"OMG it was well bad because Sarah had to go to hospital 'cos Freya was in a right state .........."

Me: "How, specifically, did Freya's agitated mental state cause Sarah to need to go to the hospital?"

Wife: "Why are you being such a tw** tonight?"

Can't win :-)

I am so sensitive to certain sounds that i used to attend the audiology unit at my local hospital and was diagnosed with auditory hyperacuity ..... its only specific sounds that get me down especially when i havent slept well..... sound sensitivity is for me the worst symptom of aspergers and genuinely has destroyed my life.I have severe tinnitus so although i crave silence the quieter it gets the louder is my tinnitus .... its quite simply torture.

Boating_taxonomist said:

she has this annoying habit of saying 'my friend x...' and explaining who they are when I am well aware already

That's probably better than my mum where conversations go:

Mum: You know my friend Sylvie?

Me: No

Mum: Yes you do, she's Graham's sister's cousins daughter's friend...

Me: Graham who?

Mum (frustrated): Used to live next door to old Mrs Cobblepot, when you were at playgroup...

Me: Mum, I have no idea who any of these people are... why are you telling me this???

Mum: You DO know them, anyway - Sylvie said blah blah blah...

Me: <disengages and lets the sound wash over me like surf>

Hours pass...

Mum: ... and that's why I couldn't get carrots for dinner!

Me: 

This is now reminding me of phone calls with my mum. Two minutes of two-way conversation followed by 28 minutes of her talking and me going "aha!", "yes, I know", "hmm", "yep!".

I had the same problem when I invited my mum to spend the weekend at my place. I hadn't registered how much time my better half and I spend in companionable silence (we tend to talk when we actually have something to say!)  until I endured 3 days of relentless chatter. She says it's because she lives alone. Trouble is, I just don't do small talk. Probably the thousand-yard stare after 2 solid hours of chatter gave it away.

In the end, I had to invent tasks to do - "just got to put new sheets on the bed" - so that I could leave the room and not have to talk or listen for 10 minutes!

By the way, have you told her directly that you need some time without words? If she took this on board and gave you 10 minutes you'd probably be more able to listen to chatter afterwards?

Just because we’d apply it at work doesn’t necessarily mean we apply it in our personal lives. Our personal lives are soposed to be where we can relax and be ourselves. Sometimes I think being a nurse makes us worse as we spend all day dealing with other people’s stuff that by the time we’re at home the absolute last thing we want to do is deal with other people’s stuff. We just want to be able to focus on ourselves. Quite natural really

It is, she's 78, and I get That she wants to talk but she also  knows I'm not a talker.... I know I must sound really awful after all she's my mum but she knows me and knows I'm not big on chat so I think there should be some give and take, although ýes if it was a relative of one of my patients I know id think differently.

I just shut down then she knows, but usually its after me making it quite clear I don't want to talk but it doesn't feel good.

Yea totally, I feel when I'm not at home I can get some quiet, until I'm given other things to worry about, then I can't...

I have a fabulous alternative to headphones, also invisible under my hair. Basically I’m extremely hearing impaired and wear hearing aids (I’m 38 now so will probably be completely deaf by the time I’m 50!) anyway, if I switch them off while keeping them in it’s like I’ve got ear plugs in, I can’t hear a thing, I do this at home sometimes when my husband is particularly getting on my nerves or the children are being extra noisy. The great thing is that no one even realises.

How old is your mum? Bless her, she probably thought you’d be able to have a good catch up this evening whereas you wanted some peace, just one of those situations where people have conflicting needs, can’t be helped really 

I have been known to just ask my mum to be quiet or tell her that I don't care when she's talking at me, especially when she's telling me stuff about her friends.  I mean, I don't really know these people so to be honest, I really don't care, and she has this annoying habit of saying 'my friend x...' and explaining who they are when I am well aware already (I don't know if she forgets I have met most of the people she talks about, or if she thinks I'll have forgotten, but it's very annoying). I try and act like I'm listening and interested but it just really grinds my gears sometimes. Feel a bit bad about it, but thankfully she doesn't usually take it personally. If I'm going for a gentler approach, I make an excuse to go off and do something in another room, or say I have to do some work so I can stick my headphones on.

I don’t know about you but I find that when I’m stressed about something, I need to obsess more. It’s that whole ASD thing of our obsessions being a calming place where we can decompress from whatever is happening in our lives, it’s a bit of escapism, we find the cyclical obsessive thinking soothing. Well I know I do anyway. What do you think?