Hi, having lived with the assumption that I'm autistic for about 15 months and found that assumption *really* helpful, I'm now trying to prepare for all possible outcomes of my recent evaluation.
If you've been for an evaluation and given a "no", what was it like for you?
Thanks
I was referred by my GP to an NHS psychiatrist in December 2015, at the age of 47, and received a diagnosis of ‘not autistic’. The assessment consisted of an hour’s interview, with my wife and a psychiatric student present, and I was given the AQ10, FQ and EQ tests to take away. Then I had a 30-minute follow up meeting a couple of weeks later.
In her letter, sent afterwards to the referring GP, the psychiatrist noted what she described as ‘mild difficulties’ with social interaction. Whenever I read that, I feel angry and dismissed, because I don’t think it acknowledges the lifelong social difficulty I described at the interview.
I was assessed in the letter as not having any of the difficulties associated with Asperger’s, ‘such as narrow obsessional interests or routines nor any difficulties with imagination’. My wife mentioned during the interview that I had an extensive comic collection, and I remember being surprised that the assessor didn’t follow that up. I also described struggling to leave the house or turn in for the night without going through rigid checks that everything is locked up and the gas cooker isn’t leaking, which didn’t seem to generate much interest.
I’ve considered it interesting that the psychiatrist asked if her student could sit in on the diagnosis. It’s speculative, but I wonder if she was hoping I’d present as a ‘classic’ example of Asperger’s. If I didn’t, then this might have informed the rest of the evaluation session. The student wasn’t present at the follow-up session.
I scored 5/10 on the AQ test, 49 on the FQ and 23 on the EQ. Two at least are within the range for autism, which I feel was dismissed. At the time I’d only recently had ‘Asperger’s’ suggested to me as an explanation for my lifelong issues (by a mental health professional who’s a friend of my wife), and I wasn’t particularly aware of what this might mean. I’ve since read several websites and a dozen books on the subject, so I have a better understanding of my own thought processes and actions. The various tests I’ve taken online since 2015, including the AQ, FQ and EQ again, all point to my being autistic.
However, I’ve procrastinated over whether to try to get a further diagnosis – I get the impression that diagnosis is a bit of a ‘box-ticking’ assessment, based on stereotypical characteristics. From what I’ve read, and experienced, I think it’s difficult to get diagnosed if you’ve spent decades ‘coping’ and learning to hide your differences. The psychiatrist in 2015 acknowledged in her assessment letter that I’d ‘developed strategies …. to manage social situations, including interaction and empathy’.
I feel now that I’m left unsure of my identity, with little support. If I apply for a job, I have nothing I can declare that might get me help at interview or in the workplace, because I have no diagnosis. The assessment has left me with little confidence that I wouldn’t encounter similar difficulties with assessment again, even if I went private. In part, I’m philosophical enough to think that I know who I am, and I don’t need an evaluation score from a professional to confirm it. However, it concerns me that dismissive evaluations of the kind I think I’ve experienced could do a lot of damage to some people.
I was referred by my GP to an NHS psychiatrist in December 2015, at the age of 47, and received a diagnosis of ‘not autistic’. The assessment consisted of an hour’s interview, with my wife and a psychiatric student present, and I was given the AQ10, FQ and EQ tests to take away. Then I had a 30-minute follow up meeting a couple of weeks later.
In her letter, sent afterwards to the referring GP, the psychiatrist noted what she described as ‘mild difficulties’ with social interaction. Whenever I read that, I feel angry and dismissed, because I don’t think it acknowledges the lifelong social difficulty I described at the interview.
I was assessed in the letter as not having any of the difficulties associated with Asperger’s, ‘such as narrow obsessional interests or routines nor any difficulties with imagination’. My wife mentioned during the interview that I had an extensive comic collection, and I remember being surprised that the assessor didn’t follow that up. I also described struggling to leave the house or turn in for the night without going through rigid checks that everything is locked up and the gas cooker isn’t leaking, which didn’t seem to generate much interest.
I’ve considered it interesting that the psychiatrist asked if her student could sit in on the diagnosis. It’s speculative, but I wonder if she was hoping I’d present as a ‘classic’ example of Asperger’s. If I didn’t, then this might have informed the rest of the evaluation session. The student wasn’t present at the follow-up session.
I scored 5/10 on the AQ test, 49 on the FQ and 23 on the EQ. Two at least are within the range for autism, which I feel was dismissed. At the time I’d only recently had ‘Asperger’s’ suggested to me as an explanation for my lifelong issues (by a mental health professional who’s a friend of my wife), and I wasn’t particularly aware of what this might mean. I’ve since read several websites and a dozen books on the subject, so I have a better understanding of my own thought processes and actions. The various tests I’ve taken online since 2015, including the AQ, FQ and EQ again, all point to my being autistic.
However, I’ve procrastinated over whether to try to get a further diagnosis – I get the impression that diagnosis is a bit of a ‘box-ticking’ assessment, based on stereotypical characteristics. From what I’ve read, and experienced, I think it’s difficult to get diagnosed if you’ve spent decades ‘coping’ and learning to hide your differences. The psychiatrist in 2015 acknowledged in her assessment letter that I’d ‘developed strategies …. to manage social situations, including interaction and empathy’.
I feel now that I’m left unsure of my identity, with little support. If I apply for a job, I have nothing I can declare that might get me help at interview or in the workplace, because I have no diagnosis. The assessment has left me with little confidence that I wouldn’t encounter similar difficulties with assessment again, even if I went private. In part, I’m philosophical enough to think that I know who I am, and I don’t need an evaluation score from a professional to confirm it. However, it concerns me that dismissive evaluations of the kind I think I’ve experienced could do a lot of damage to some people.
