Hi, having lived with the assumption that I'm autistic for about 15 months and found that assumption *really* helpful, I'm now trying to prepare for all possible outcomes of my recent evaluation.
If you've been for an evaluation and given a "no", what was it like for you?
Thanks
I was told I was not autistic some time ago because I can make eye contact and maintain conversations. Even though I have all the traits and have two children with autism and they have different dads. They too can make eye contact and my daughter with Aspergers is just as able to hold a conversation (she was diagnosed as a child). I was told they didn't know what to do with me as I scored high, but not high enough. My assessment was also carried out by a childrens assessor. I don't feel they had enough experience of autism in adults especially adult remales. I feel so alone. I have many mental health problems and know this is why, but cannot get the appropriate help I need. I just want to know why I'm like this :(
Thank you very much, and me too. I'm tired of having to work so hard just to be able to function in my life and in society. I rarely leave the house anymore due to anxieties. I'm tired of life, tired of trying and am now only here for my autistic children (joy and happiness is something I've only really ever felt very briefly). I've basically given up and resigned myself to life of anxiety, loneliness and emptiness:( Some professionals have a lot to answer for and not enough education in the field of adult autism, especially female. Seems if you can fake it you can make it, apparently (in their eyes).
Thank you very much, and me too. I'm tired of having to work so hard just to be able to function in my life and in society. I rarely leave the house anymore due to anxieties. I'm tired of life, tired of trying and am now only here for my autistic children (joy and happiness is something I've only really ever felt very briefly). I've basically given up and resigned myself to life of anxiety, loneliness and emptiness:( Some professionals have a lot to answer for and not enough education in the field of adult autism, especially female. Seems if you can fake it you can make it, apparently (in their eyes).
I feel exactly the same. I like you have few friends, well one actually lol. But I find maintaining friendships hard as they require lots of effort, and it can be exhausting. I also prefer to be at home than out. And prefer male friends to female ones (men are more straight forward most of the time) It's just so much easier to stay home and not deal with all the issues that going out can bring. Whenever I went out any way I had to be drunk to feel I fit in at all, and to try and not be me of course, but feel I'm too old and too tired to bother with that now. Nothing in life really makes me happy other than my Autistic son and daughter. I never really felt any real happiness, purpose or direction before them, and if I did It was very fleeting. And now I'm older I still have the same issue. I have no direction and no other purpose other than to take care of my family (which is, of course, the most important job) But I really want something more. I like you feel exhausted all the time, not just physically but mentally too. I feel kind of empty inside, like a part of me is missing and I can't find it no matter where I look. I have pretty much all the traits of Autism, especially female autism, but have been denied help because I can give eye contact and hold a conversation. Which both my diagnosed autistic children can also do (my son who's 10 recently just learned to talk, but can hold a very short, few words, convo). Their reason for not diagnosing me is complete rubbish.
I wish I had the answers to tell you what you and myself should do, but I like you am wandering aimlessly, hoping things will somehow magically fall into place :(
Yes it does. Now I'm at my desk and not on my phone I'll type a fuller answer. I've been looking for the last decade for something to fill the hole that "most people" fill by turning away from academic/work/material success/pursuits to "relationships, friendships, family and activities". None of this seems to work for me because I have no friends other than 1 or 2 that I keep in contact with via SMS and an occasional coffee, and I've decided that I'd rather be at home than going "out" anywhere or on holiday (which I can no longer afford anyway now I'm working 4 days a week). Anything that got me excited as a 20/30 something (learning, science, sex, getting a nice house / car) doesn't anymore or isn't available to me. Following my burnout I'm staying away from "championing" anything at work because I can't risk another burnout & I have no energy for it anyway. So at the moment I'm existing and it's not very fulfilling. I have a lovely wife and we enjoy sitting with our dogs in the evening watching TV then I'm usually tired by 9.30 and back to bed to start again. I run, go to the gym, and I'm physically healthy, but I lack joy and purpose.
Sucks doesn't it. :(
I can relate to the “tired of life” feeling. :-(
