Isolated and suicidal

I completely agree with you. With regards family, I have no siblings, my dad’s dead and I don’t see my mum as she’s a very toxic person. My husband is always too preoccupied with talking to his friends on the phone to pay me much attention. I am however, very close to my eldest daughter. Do you have family that you feel could help you more if they tried? 

With regards friends. I got a good book on social skills last year and have been learning social skills to good effect. I’ve made some good friends and improved relationships with existing friends and acquaintances. I’m no longer the quiet one in the corner with no one to talk to, I may still be a freak but I’m a freak that can now hold her own in social situations. While it can get exhausting and I do need to balance socialising with time out, overall this has had a really positive effect on my mental health. I’m a life long hair puller but I’ve managed to stop since improving my social skills and social circles. I do however realise that you may not be at the point where you want to throw yourself headlong into learning social skills and being a newly emerged social butterfly. Perhaps though a local social group for Aspergers/ASD may give some social contact without the pressure of the usual societal expectations?

With all that said I do believe that more needs to be done to increase the awareness of the general public about autism. Not just in a ‘oh let’s be friends with the autistic guy because that’s the cool and trendy thing to do right now’. But actually to educate about our differences in style of communication and understanding. Then maybe they can be more loving and nurturing rather than just tolerating.

Sorry I’m still half asleep so not sure if I’ve really replied to what you said or just gone ‘bleugh’ with whatever was in my head. But I do agree with what you said, that the love, nurture and support from those around you can be more effective than any medication or treatment.

I would still like to draw attention to the role family and friends play and how that could. Be improved. Medications and therapies are all good but I have read numerous times that aspergers is a social problem. I have always found that my social needs are not met in life. This is clearly because my needs differ from those around me. Truth is I do not fully understand what my needs are but I do need people to include me rather than the eternal pursuit of inclusion that my life is. 

It's almost like I need people to make me feel important. This is a difficult need of mine for neurotypicals to meet as a neurotypical ego misinterprets this as me wanting my own ego groomed. It is simply that I constantly feel like I do not matter. 

Love, nurture and support from those around you can be more effective than any treatment or medication. 

I think a lot more research needs to be done on how to manage mental health in those with ASD, especially as we seem to be predetermined to suffer a lot more mental health problems than the general population. I’ve been there myself with the depression, the anxiety, the ocd etc. It’s not nice and what works for most people doesn’t necessarily work for us

Yes we all have a slightly different analytical take on things though and my interest is to try and find something useful for management of suicidal thinking in Aspergers. It is such a devastating problem and we do not have a good answer.............. yet

Everyone is very nice though even though I know we are supposed to be socially awkward!

Do you know what I do like about this thread though? It’s something that I’ve found that I like about the whole forum. That is that what I have come to learn is that when one autistic person is struggling, whether that is me, you or someone else. other autistic people are very quick to gather around and offer support. Autistic solidarity, it’s a thing, and a good thing too

Perhaps friends and family where not listening as they should

In the realms of suicidal thought, I would say this post is quite old now. To anyone reading this, I would take it as a snap shot of how seriously bad someone can feel when suffering from mental health. I don't feel like this right now but it is a feeling that comes and goes. Might I also add that I now currently believe that I am suffering from PTSD along with ASD. 

Any kind of therapy requires co-operation and effort from the sufferer; this I agree with. The kind of help required when I was feeling like this had nothing to do with counselling, cbt, medication or anything like that. What is needed is intervention. When you are this low you need to be arrested (stopped in your tracks) and made safe. You need supervision until the moment passes and need to feel like people understand how you feel. I must stress that this was not a cry for help. If I am to continue feeling like this it would inevitably lead to my death. 

NAS contacted me and met their legal obligation. 4 days later I had a complete breakdown and had helicopters, police and mountain rescue looking for me. I can only say that perhaps if NAS or anyone else reading this at the time had gone a little further, that may have been avoided all together. That's not to say I blame anyone for a perceived lack of support. I am simply saying that such intervention can mean the difference between life and death. 

Suicide is the greatest killer of men under 45 in the UK annually. It is in effect a national emergency. My experience with the services available to people feeling like I did at that time to counter suicidal thoughts are woefully unsuitable. After being found by the police for example; I was subjected to a 7 hour wait in A & E before being seen. That wait alone is enough to drive someone to suicide. I will praise the emergency services for the effort they made in finding me as it must have come at great expense.  I will also like to point out that as much as the police found me; the officers involved where unsympathetic and clearly had no mental health awareness. If I could go back to that moment, I would punch both officers in the face regardless of consequence. 

I am not a weak person. I have been through more than most for a person of my age yet I am still here. When I felt as I did, I genuinely wanted to end my life. They say its a mental illness but is it really being unwell? There is a limit to human endurance and there can be good reasons that a person has to choose the ultimate alternative to life. The cure in circumstances like this has nothing to do with therapies and such. The cure is human compassion and love. It really is that simple. In my experience when you are not feeling good and are struggling in life, most people will shun and avoid you. It is a self perpetuating cycle that can lead to suicide. If someone you know is struggling, do more than turn up in their hour of need. Make a sustained attempt to involve them in your life if you care about them. Give them a sense of self worth. Make them feel like they matter to you.  Share their grief and nurture them. This would be more effective than any medicine or therapy. 

Jings. Your life sounds very messy indeed. You are clearly in a very bad place because everything you have said sounds like you've already given up. When you're like that it's going to be extremely hard to be motivated enough to give anything a try and stick at it long enough to see if there is anything that will help. Unfortunately pretty much all help out there requires you to also try. NAS made contact and gave you information but you think they should be doing more.

Are there any mental health hospitals near you? Have you gone in to either one of those or your GPs and simply state that you are going to kill yourself and that you need help to stop you? I imagine that would get a response and may get some care in place.

Lastly, with the loss of your daughter. I have children and cannot imagine how you must feel. If that had happened to me and I was on my own, I imagine I would be following the same path as you. That's not helpful, I know, but the pain must be all consuming. 

Please, try and get help. I've been where you are in terms of thinking nothing will ever get better, and despite it seeming that way, it can. It can take a lot of work, or it can take a chance event. But it won't happen if you're not here.

Hi

I am new here, but saw this post and wanted to say that I have been very very depressed in the last 10 years (previous to an Autism diagnosis.)... BUT, no matter how crap and utter grim that you feel now, and I cannot put myself in your position regarding your daughter, it is not worth suffering alone and I have seen many times in my life that trying to be strong alone can be a hindrance, in hindsight I wish I had picked up a phone or talked honestly with close friends. 

I really happy for you that you won your employment tribunal, well done! :-)

The police as a whole have a poor skill set when it comes to mental health. They do not concern me though as for every once of a hard time they give me... I would return in favour and this is an area where I excel unfortunately.

Things are generally on the up for the time being however. I won my employment tribunal. These things can be done without legal support.

The other struggles will remain. The war continues but this battle has been fought and the enemy defeated. I'm looking to have a good summer now if possible 

more definitely needs to be done with regards to increasing the police awareness of autism. Though I'm sure that I recently read that people are campaigning for police to have to go on training for autism and learning disabilities

www.autismeye.com/.../

the police do not understand autism and may give you a difficult time. They have certainly been terrible with me and nearly got me killed in an accident last year due to my distress at their actions, a few days before I was due in court

Hi there.

Your story sounds very similar to mine in many ways and is the type of thinking that is really bad for those of us with autism.

I have been trying really hard to stay alive for 6 years now and got in more and more problems.

I believe you also must have a wish to stay alive, for your parents? Why else would you be writing on here?

We get caught up in our thinking and cannot easily change that, try as we might. Behavioural changes, drugs are unfortunately not very effective.

Yes I know the standard things that are sent out about Samaritans, 999 etc, but all of these options do not solve my problems and will just add to them.

I would desperately love to find a way forwards, but it worries me to know that most aspies die young!

Do you fancy a chat?? If you are still around

I’ll try to find the previous post

I have a previous post that covers some of the issues i have been having regarding employment. I live in the countryside. I am in the late stages of an employment tribunal and i am about to lose my home and car.

they shouldnt be end of it will be making matters worse i think if they are doing this to u then that place of work is not worth it and is making autism worse 

where in the world do u live as i never hurd police doing any thing in thatmaner 

come on life is there for u dont liet this be the only reason that u want to do some thing this bad she would want u to live your life as best as you can please u seem a nice person.

Oh dear! what were they harassing you about?