Work problems

I can't add to the more useful advice already given but just to send some solidarity, I know how it feels and you shouldn't be made to cope with this bad behaviour and appalling attitude to work environment. .

This sounds like I could have written it!  I’m struggling a lot right now, and what you describe is how I feel each day.  Due to things that have gone on over the past few months and comments that have been made to me I feel so uncomfortable at work, and just shut down.  This morning I’ve done about five minutes worth of work in 5 hours, and spent the rest of the time feeling completely crushed and exhausted.  It’s like being light headed and weighing a tonne all at the same time.  I had loads of sleep last night but I’m so tired I’ll be in bed by 6.30 this evening.  I did an access to work request and they’re doing an assessment next week.  I can’t explain to anyone at work how much the work environment is affecting me.  

Did they give a reason why no adjustments were made??  Sounds very unfair if occupational health have made the recommendations 

That was the same for me and as soon as I realised why ~ because I'm autistic ~ I simply refused to participate any longer and instead vowed to find a way of working that suited me.

Maybe I was able to do that because in my ignorance (of autism) I allowed myself to burnout completely, which I realised, post diagnosis, was a gift because it meant I had no other choice but to find another way.

I realised I could never work a conventional job, no matter how good I was at my job and no matter how much I loved it, if I wanted to enjoy any quality of life beyond work and I know I wasn't put on this earth for just that, so I'm finding another way.

I simply couldn't see any other way around it, even with adjustments, it just felt like more effort than it was worth. Even working as one of my favourite things, a barista, didn't work out and I realised, if I was going to follow up with that passion, I would have to open my own, autism friendly, coffee shop. So that's what I'll do. I've no idea how long it will take for that to come into fruition, but it's not my main wage earner anyway, so it will happen when it happens and in the meantime, I'm exploring as best I can, what actually does work for me. And I'm getting my leisure activities etc, everything I do outside of work, set up first, because I have a tendency to be a workaholic, so this time I'm putting measures in place to prevent that from happening. At the same time, I'll be learning new skills to enable me to have a way to provide for myself financially when I'm ready to join the world of work once again. 

It might not be easy, but for me personally, its rewards are far greater than the ones I would get from working in a conventional job, so I might as well put my efforts to where I'll get the most reward. 

I don't know what to say beyond that. Maybe get a disability rights group involved? I have no idea, sorry, it all seems too much for me. Best of luck anyway, I'm sure others here can give you some advice and tips. I just opted for opting out and living my life according to my needs and finding a different way. 

I think the biggest challenge is getting people to understand our struggles in areas which are taken for granted.  Physical disabilities, in most cases when seen and judged to be severe, are accepted; however disabilities which are more hidden or not always obvious are much harder for people that are not affected to accept.  They need proof for it to be validated, which always makes me laugh as I work so hard to mask my struggles and ensure I do a good job.  As I have said to my boss on many occasion, I just manage to last through work on most days, but then I go home and shrink into a wreck that cannot function properly.  My life therefore revolves around work - I work and then I work to recover from work, so I can start the cycle again.  Yet this still didn't strike a chord with my boss on just how consuming work is for me.  I have no life or get to enjoy my hobbies like I used to, like other people do - and still my struggles are not accepted or aided in some cases.

I was having a lot of shutdowns and an Occupational Therapist who specialises in Autism, was brought into assess me.  She told me to be honest, and she noted how aspects of my job can cause me stress and have negative impact on my well-being.  No reasonable adjustments were made, but they now know if they push me in areas that I struggle with, then I will shutdown and won't be able to perform at my best, which could result in me having to take time off sick to recover.  It's not ideal, but it's the best scenario I have come to with my current employer.

This could well be considered as bullying. Make sure you write down details of all the incidents that happen. Also keep records of when you report incidents to your employer and (if anything) they do.

It is your enployer's responsibility to intervene and protect you from this sort of unacceptable behaviour. I am so sorry you have had to experience it.

Your union rep should be able to advise you on this too. I am glad your employer has made reasonable adjustments. This is what they are required to do by law. I hope they will sort out the negative behaviour of your colleagues too. 

It is harassment under the equality act on grounds of victimisation.  Your employer should take it seriously, initially you might just ask your line manager to have a quiet word with the perpetrators to avoid unpleasantness.

Your employer should have a bullying and harassment policy which you should read. 

Since I disclosed my condition at work, I have received help, they have made my job easier, the only problem now is that I’m getting snide comments from co workers, attitudes towards me have really changed, is this a form of bullying?

If its any consolation I know exactly what you are going through, all we can do is stay strong and keep asking for help. Hope it works out for you.

Communication small talk.... ughhh noise lighting smells dealing with too many people at the same time. My mind just goes to mush under these conditions

Trainspotter thanks for all the links

I think you should be a union rep you're very knowledgeable, 

Hi again, Thanks for all your replies and support its nice to know there is support here at such an awful time. I've had a really busy day, contacted ACAS who advised me to contact the Equality and advisory support service, I found them really helpful, they have a template to write to my employer and request reasonable adjustments. I can't say who my employer is but lets just say its a large organisation so they do have capacity to do more for me, I've been advised to raise a grievance and give them 14 days to reply, I am a member of a union so I will send the letter to them first to be proof read. I am going to write a list of ways AS affects me and ask my gp to write a letter as this is what has been requested. I will contact Access to work tomorrow and take it from there. Thanks again all

In what way does it effect you at work? 

Here are some phone numbers / emails BigD

Just in case you need to speak to someone 

www.nhs.uk/.../

So sorry to hear this - anxiety is really difficult to manage when you are at work - mine was getting out of control until I took an extended period of time off work. Even now if I think about going back, or the meeting I have to have with managers next week, I start to panic. 

I know you drive but have you asked your GP about medication you might be able to take in the short term, until you find other ways of coping? I was against the idea of medication but my psychologist persuaded me that it sometimes means you can relax enough to use other coping strategies. 

I am getting support via an online programme called silvercloud - it's to help with anxiety and depression. I work through modules then fill in comments. There are phone calls or emails from a 'supporter' too. Might be worth checking to see what is available in your area. 

You should definitely get some advice about employment law. If your absence is disability related I don't think they can use disciplinary measures quite as brutally. I might be wrong though - worth checking with NAS helpline, or someone else on here may know. 

I do hope things get better soon. Remember all the services that are there to provide help in a crisis - it really does help sometimes just to tell everything to a stranger.  

As Sunflower says, contact Access to Work.  You can apply online and in a short time (often less than a fortnight) they will contact you.  They will arrange to see you in the workplace (or rather one of their assessors will) and speak to your employer to arrange this. And don't worry about the process, they are very much on your side.  I have a support worker who is very useful (two sessions of ninety minutes each per month) and they recommend some adjustments and will look at your workplace to see if anything could be done to ease things.  They can also arrange training for staff and managers as to how autism affects you.  There is no costs to you.  Their purpose is to keep you in work.  And it is quite rapid unless holidays get in the way.

https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work

If you have the confidence to do it, send an email (email is best because you can get a 'trail' telling officially informing your employer you are autistic and saying how you are affected, and would like to know if they consider you disabled under the Equality Act, and if they don't, why not.  You might also find the following useful, read the introduction and the part that refers to autism specifically.  It will give you some ideas as to what you can say as to how autism affects you, be it sensory overload, delayed comprehension, dislike of change, problems of communication etc.

https://www.unison.org.uk/content/uploads/2018/10/Proving-Disability-and-Reasonable-Adjustments-Oct2018.pdf

Although it is written for union reps, it is also useful if you are not in a trade union.  There are some useful links within as well.

Many adjustments help not only you but will also assist other employees.  After all, having someone stressed has an effect on all the workforce, and surely an employer would also want to get the best from their workforce.  As you have been in your workplace for five years you have full employment rights.  I don't know what circumstances have been like but has there been recent change with which you couldn't cope?  Or have things been bubbling over for some time and have just reached the tipping point, exacerbated by your autism?

Hope it all works out soon

Am on the verge of a major breakdown today, burst out crying as I left for work, on the way to work, and three times since I got into work, went to the transport staff who are aware of my problems, they didn’t seem particularly interested when I told them how bad I was, asked for some short notice leave to sort myself out, they offered me the week after next. Feel so let down and worried,  I am already on a stage 2 disciplinary for being off work for 2 weeks with depression before Christmas, this is all due to the build up of anxiety, and not getting any help, really can’t take much more of feeling like this. What can I do?.

Have you contacted Access to Work? You can refer yourself and ask for assistance to retain your job. How disappointing that your employer is being so obstructive. Make sure you write everything down, keep copies of emails etc as this will be helpful if you do end up losing your job unfairly.

I had a useful meeting with a Disability Employment Adviser at a Job Centre yesterday. I still have multiple part-time and casual jobs - he was able to give me some good advice about how to try and get adjustments made.

Could you ask whoever diagnosed you to endorse your request for adjustments? I have drafted an employment checklist and autism passport and sent these to my psychologist to review. If my employer won't accept my assessment of my own needs I hope they will take notice of what she says.

I am in a Trade Union which is helpful. My rep accompanies me to meetings which changes the dynamic. It might be worth joining a Union now, they may not be able to intervene on issues that have already happened but they can ensure you are treated fairly from now on.

Asperger's can be a real challenge at work in that the difficulties we have may not be apparent to other people. This makes it more likely that our requests for adjustments are seen as wants not needs (Alis Rowe - the Curly Haired Girl - has created a lovely cartoon about this). We should be accepted as experts on our own condition.

So sorry to hear what a difficult situation you are in. ACAS can sometimes intervene too. If you haven't already done so it might be worth phoning the NAS helpline for advice, or emailing them.

Try and stay strong. It can be very dispiriting to get a response like this from an employer.