Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I finally received my draft diagnostic report last night. I had intended to share part of it with my employer, but having read it I do not feel comfortable about this. There is relatively little in the report relating to employment and it is so deficit focused that I am concerned about the impact it would have.
I've been given an opportunity to correct inaccuracies before the report is finalised and I'm considering whether to ask for more significant amendments:
I would be happy to draft the additional material myself and ask for it to be added to the report. Perhaps this would be seen as inappropriate though?
Just wondering how you felt when you received your diagnostic report - were autistic strengths highlighted as well as deficits? If you were working did you share all or part of the report with your employer?
I've been waiting a very long time to receive the diagnostic report so I was a bit surprised by its brevity and lack of specificity. I have not seen any other reports so maybe mine is typical. It is a rough draft (typos, missing words) which Is difficult for me too. I would be upset if the final version included mistakes but if I correct the grammar and spelling I might cause offence.
I would appreciate any advice anyone can offer. I expected to have some negative feelings about my report given the assessment process is based on the medical model. However, I thought it would contain more information relating to employment as this was the main problem when I referred myself - we also spent much of my assessment discussing it.
Thank you!
If I had received one, however, I would treat it as being for my eyes only and probably ask for a summary for the OT department at work IF I felt that certain things being on the record might be helpful. Then possibly use my next appraisal if there were any specific strengths, challenges or accommodations I felt I needed to discuss.
My approach is very guarded though and I'm not very trustful of most employers.
You are right to be guarded and not to be trustful Jenny. I am going to try and adopt the same policy from now on.
Yeah, I'm very naive as well, so I know what you mean, and, without realising it I wear my heart on my sleeve, as someone once told me. I didn't know what they meant at the time, but I do now, and it's just the way I am so I don't want to put myself in a situation where it's not good to do that. Which makes me realise even more that I need to work for myself because if I can't be myself, what's the point of being at all and I know I'll never be able to work out when I'm being naive etc, so the workplace is not for me.
I thought HR were there to support employees, I didn't realise they were there to avoid litigation! You learn something new everyday. Thanks for that. Although thinking about it, now you've told me that, I guess they are there for the employers, because afterall, they employ them.
Is that a reliable method for understanding somebody? Judging them by observing their behaviour? People do that to me and I can tell you, they get it wrong almost all of the time.
I don't think I could have dealings with people I didn't trust. I wouldn't know where to start and even if I did, I wouldn't like it. It would feel like I was playing some kind of dishonest game. I could do it, but I'd find it very stressful.
I've had what could be called a very disjointed career path, but I don't see it like that. Pre-diagnosis I was simply living in the wilderness so the fact that I had a job at all is amazing to me, and I haven't worked yet, since I got my diagnosis.
And yes, I know exactly what you mean in your last comment. When I left my last job, it was put into action after a co worker was so horrible and I was so grateful to her as it made me put in my notice, something I had wanted to do for weeks but didn't know how to do it. So I was really grateful that she was the way she is.
Yes, the smoothie is delicious. 2 tbsp cacao powder, 2 tbsp almond butter, a cup or so of coconut yogurt, about the same amount of porridge oats, a frozen banana and some hazelnut milk. It's divine. I don't like chai tea, I wish I did sometimes, it sounds lovely. Maybe one day I'll come to like it. I've been working on liking dates for years and I'm just getting to be ok with them although I made a raw vegan chocolate brownie the other day which was also to die for (made with dates) but I loved it so much I ate the whole lot, which means I ate a massive bag of dates! I want to make it again, and give some to other people, but I don't trust myself yet, to not eat the whole lot again.
I'm a brownie connoisseur and honestly, these are amazing and so easy to make.
I trust people I know and love but when it comes to work, experience has taught me that it is very risky to be naive and share sensitive personal information.
At the start of my career I thought HR were there to help employees but now I understand their main role is to protect employers from litigation.
I judge people on the behaviour I observe and if I see a pattern of harmful, malicious, cruel actions to myself or others I withdraw my trust.
Having an open heart in such a situation is very dangerous. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, and feel compassion for them, but I am not willing to place any trust in them.
There comes a point when I decide I would rather move on than risk being harmed any more. This has made for a somewhat disjointed career path but I have protected myself this way and continued to grow as a person.
i look back sometimes and see colleagues cowering - too frightened to confront the bully and too scared to move on. I always say this silently to myself as I leave: "thank you for making my life so difficult that I am embarking on another exciting adventure".
Your chocolate smoothie sounds delicious! I am drinking spicy chai!
But how can can anybody trust you if you don't trust them? That confuses me. If they have been found to be untrustworthy, I would simply trust in that, that they're untrustworthy, and do my best to conduct the relationship on those grounds, but it wouldn't make me be an untrustworthy person by guarding myself and not trusting anybody and I wouldn't think the other person is always untrustworthy, I would be sure that they're trustworthy in many areas of their life, just not this one because maybe their need to run their office (or whatever) is greater than the need for making adjustments for me. The way I see it, we are all untrustworthy in lots of areas. Or maybe we see the word differently. For example, I recently joined a local church and told them from the off that they can't rely on me to turn up each week etc, due to me being in burnout and also due to my nature, sometimes I need to rest on that day, depending on what other commitments etc I have or depending on how I'm feeling. I said I can't be trustworthy in that respect.
Rather than seeing this as a huge battle and you can't trust them at all, narrow it down to the specific areas that you can't trust them, so your vision isn't clouded by the issue of trust.
Anyway, I'm probably just rambling and I need to leave my house or I'll never get my routine going, so I'm gonna make me the best, most delicious, most chocolatey smoothie in the world, seriously, it's delicious (I made it yesterday for the first time) and toddle round to my aunties house cos my mums gonna be there, so I'll go n spend some time with them, seeing as I got up too late to go for a walk.
Yes, I would need to feel very safe about disclosing personal information to employers and, in the absence of that, I would pare it right down to very brief, factual information that is targeted towards the results you'd like to see. E.g. if you'd like a coach then maybe a brief outline about how this would help you and, in turn, the organisation too.
I guess the bottom line is that I don't feel very safe with employers though. To my mind the employer - employee relationship generally suffers from a huge power imbalance and I wouldn't trust them not to misuse their power. This also means that i'd be very guarded against giving them (or their henchmen in HR) anything which could later be used as ammunition against me.