way to get help for suspected adult autism

I wish you good luck when you try again. Maybe if you do get referred to MIND again you can try to be more specific about your questions about ASD. I was super confused when my GP referred me to MIND, so I called my GP surgery (and the receptionists answered were very unsure as well, and they even told me to bring the referral letter in for them to see). And after a lot of discussion, and looking up information, it turned out since the GP isn't a specialist in ASD screening, so they had to refer me to MIND where a mental health nurse did the screening and initial assessment. And only after passing the initial screening at MIND, he referred me to the local ASD clinic, where I'm now waiting for the full assessment. 

I'm not sure if this is the same case in you area, but in sounds kind of similar to what Kitsune said about the GP referring to the local mental health team who did a secondary more in depth assessment than the GP before being referred to Maudsley hospital. Can MIND possibly be the mental health team that does the secondary assessment? Since both of you are being referred to Maudsley hospital, the process should be similar. It may be more useful to compare notes between both of you. (Though I've heard that NHS procedures sometimes change across different years).

The NHS referrals are really complicated, and it also seems to vary a lot depending on where you live. I think the best way to find out what is going on is to call your GP again and explain what you are confused about and see if you can find out what is the current status of your referral. You can also call people at Maudsley hospital to see if they have received your referral and if you are currently on the waiting list. If there are any problems (e.g., the referral getting lost mid-way), you can ask your GP to make another referral. I understand how frustrating all this can be, and I'm in the same boat as you. Like I said before, mine was delayed for about a year due to someone's mistake. So it's important to try to keep contacting them to make sure everything is on track. Good luck!

I’m just wondering has the Maudsley actually specifically written back to you or your GP and said that they won’t assess you? If not then what I suspect has happened is that following your assessment by the local MH team you have been referred to two different places, MIND for depression and The Maudsley for ASD assessment. As MIND specialises in MH treatment and support they would not have been informed of the ASD/ADHD side of things so would have been oblivious to the other referral and just focused on the MH stuff. I think the Maudsley is just being slow to reply.

Its really good that you are able to keep your depression at bay to an extent using CBT etc. Please though if it does get too much do go to your GP for help, they should be able to take a holistic approach and treat depression while also supporting you to get an ASD diagnosis.

My private assessment was £550. I went to a psychiatrist group in Norwich, Norfolk.

 My GP referred me so that it then will go on my NHS medical records. He wouldn't refer me on the NHS without sending me for an ADHD assessmentt because he said that although I do not present as ADHD or even have many traits, I would not be able to get an ASD assessment because I "lead a good family life". He was very quick to refer once he knew I was paying!!

The service I used is open to referal from any part of the country...so if you can afford £550 and can travel then you could use their service. Your GP is unlikely to dispute the idea.

ok thankyou I will try again because my gp did refer me to a local mental health team who also asked more in depth questions then that's who referred me to mind but I think when I mentioned the depression they seemed to ignore everything else I was explaining (suspected autism or ADD) because when mind called.me they they seem under the impression I was only asking for help with depression and anxiety so not much more came of it.

I can keep the depression at bay somewhat because of all the CBT I had before and general therapies while working out what the problem was. just seems like if I mention how down it's making me I might be heard more but then if I don't mention it then I might not be taken seriously enough? I've tried psychology uk who have an nhs funding form on their website and they then write a letter to.my gp asking for a referall based on what I write to see how likely I "qualify" . thanks for the reply 

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling to get a diagnosis. I can completely relate to ‘wondering what is wrong with me’ as I spent most of my late teens and twenties wondering exactly that. Am I weird? Am I a really bad person? Trying to find reasons why I was so terrible at making and maintaining friendships. It’s good though that you’ve realised the reason for your difficulties. Discalculia is a difficulty with processing numbers and rather than bring misdiagnosed it may very well exist alongside autism but for some reason when you were a child they picked up on the discalculia but not the autism.

I really don’t understand why the GP referred you to MIND for an Autism diagnosis as it’s not their scope of practice. Personally my GP referred me first to the local mental health team who did a secondary more in depth assessment than the GP then I was referred on to the Maudsley hospital for the ADOS and Psychiatric examination (basically assessment and diagnosis). One thing I do know and I was told this my the MH team is that you need to get your GP to chase the Maudsley if you haven’t heard back from them. I had to get the GP to chase them and I eventually got an assessment appointment after 6 months. I think the delay is partly because they have to apply to your local PCT for funding for your assessment. So maybe make another GP appointment and ask them to chase up the Maudsley regarding your referral. 

Ending it all is not the solution, please don’t do that. I know it may feel as though there’s no hope and you’re never going to get your assessment/diagnosis but I really believe that you will get there, it just takes time and unfortunately all these assessment centres have a high case load so it can take a while for them to get back to you. It is of course quite possible for depression to coexist with autism and if this whole process is making you feel really down then maybe being treated for depression while you are waiting for your assessment to be arranged would make things a bit easier for you, everything is so much harder when we’re depressed. 

Hope everything works out for you

wow that sounds exactly the same as me, it's like we  it think the other person is the problem so it's a constsnt battle with me and my partner but it's the autism part of me, so you're nagging always on our case trying to be the parent but you're not it's just a normal reaction to our behaviour well mine anyway. I think my partner knows now that I've found out what it might be and it describes me down to a t think that's why i want a diagnosis that bad so I can prove I'm telling the truth and I'm not just a ***. thanks for sharing 

thanks and hello, yeah I remember the very first referall I did was sent off and the replying letter I later found out was sent to my old adress for some weird reason so I don't know what that would have been (kicking myself still coz that could have been the one, I rang the maudsley tofay and got told to.ring back at an earlier time tomorrow for referall info, as for the parental input I was diagnosed with something called discalculia because my teacher and parents noticed something was up,but feel it was misdiagnosed because the symptoms of those can be similar to adhd and autism but it looked at in an academic way rather than a personality way,

following a second referall.is where mind came in like the referall my doc sent was to another service who then asked me loads of questions then following that they referred me to mind but I think they took to much time looking ant the depression and feelings of suicide so the autism was.overlooked and they just said they can't help me for autism coz they're not qualified for it.  but I will try again from what you told me thanks for that :)

I've just tried another place can't remember the site now but you fill out an nhs funding form which they then send to your gp and they get back to you letting you know which is good here's hoping

but with money again every penny really.does count for me at the moment literally can't save haha

The first 3 years of my marriage so difficult.  My husband and I were great when it was just me and him. But add another person then it got tricky. He seemed very ridged in plans we made. And got overly upset if something came up to change them. Ex: my birth father was coming to visit (I had only met him 1 day when I was 17) and his plane got delayed a day.  My husband paced the house yelling and cursing about how horrible it was. It takes alot for my husband to realize that he is not the only one who was upset. I was looking for comfort,  and got anger instead.  Don't get me wrong,  I love my husband.  He just has always lived in a bubble and his autism did not help. He would also say random things, like call for a cat (at the time we did not have one). At first I thought it was cute, but after years, it gets old. He never could make the connection that he needed to work (he lost 2 jobs). And sadly still doesn't.  He works part time and I work as a teacher assistant with special needs kindergarden, as well as part time with a special needs teen(13 hr days). He can't seem to follow more than 1-2 step directions. He doesn't seem to understand that why I worry all the time, when he lives care free. He thinks I overreact and I am controlling when I say we need to pay Bill's before going on a trip. I know he tries to, but it is very difficult for him to care/understand other people's feelings.  I have to break it down step-by-step. He feels like the world should just let him be, but unfortunately that is not reality. I hope this helps. If you think you are Autistic,  I urge you to talk to your partner.  I had to fill out info for my husband for the dr. Please feel free to contact me anytime.  When we got the Autistim diagnoses,  I told my husband, that Autism is something you have always had, it is nothing new. We now know how to better help and understand each other. 

You have my sympathy on this. I am also in a similar situation. I have had a lot of problems all my life and even had people suggest there was something "wrong" with me. I already had to wait many years to be independent from my parents (because I don't think they will support it), and it just made getting an assessment harder because many clinics require parental input. I have actually asked for an assessment a long time ago, and I had to do it a second time, because in the first time, the process was lost mid-way by the assessor. I waited for a long time for a mail, and since I never received one, I began to think she didn't treat me seriously. It was hard being treated that way, and I worried about a second rejection. It took me almost another year to have the courage to ask again, though the documents weren't loss this time. I called the clinic during the process to monitor that things were on track. I had already waited for almost two years because of their processing mistake. And when I called recently, they told me that the current waiting list is 2-3 years.

I would suggest following up with your referral with maudsley hospital (ask the GP if they had sent the referral - mine took a month to be sent out. Then try to contact the services the follow. Telephone is very useful in these cases, as people seem to ignore emails a lot). Could you tell us a bit more about your telephone assessment with MIND? I had an initial assessment with them to before being referred by them to the clinic, maybe there were some misunderstandings there, and it would still be possible for you to try again?

I have thought of going private as well, since it's been so long and painful to wait. It was impossible for me a few years ago as I didn't have any money. But since the NHS wait is in units of "years", it is possible to save enough after a few years. If you save just an extra £30 a month, after 3 years, you would have £1080. Since I had been saving for this just in case I needed it, I do have the money now, but it seems like such hard work to earn money, I don't want to throw it all away for a negative result. So I'm still undecided about going private. But I think if you can save a bit more, perhaps it would feel like throwing less away (e.g., if you put aside £60 a month for 3 years, you will have £2160, and you will only be needing to spend half). It might also be a good idea to read through the forums to find out from the people who had really positive and helpful private assessments where they did it. If you can go to the same clinic as they did, you may have the same kind of understanding and thoroughness. 

I asked for the maudsley hospital specifically and the referall was sent while at the gp, think I was waiting for some kind of confirmation from them to say they had received it but I'll try and call and just ask thankyoi

ok thankyou I will try that :) that is similar to how I found out about myself I knew something was off since forever but after.moving in with my partner my behaviour was questioned alot and arguments from nowhere like I had no idea what I said or did wrong half the time but not meaning to? and just generally noticing how people are different around me to other I observe then after research I came to the conclusion what would you say wasn't typical? if you don't mind me asking just so I can compare the symptoms to my own 

Hey. First of all I am so sorry for your situation.  I was in a very similar situation with my husband. He was told he had a learning disability,  something that I have. So I saw no problem, until we got married.  I noticed  alot of things, that were not "typical". After seeking help from numerous places, no one believed me. I finally I found someone who believed me and wrote my husband a note for vocational rehabilitation services.  There, he was finally tested (at no charge to us) and was officially diagnosed as Autistic. I hope this helps. Please don't give up, but surround yourself with friends and family for support. My husband would not have gotten diagnosed I stopped at the 3rd no. 

If you've been referred but haven't yet heard anything back, then do you know where you referred to?  If not, your GP surgery can probably advise.  I don't think there's any harm in giving the assessment centre a call or an email just to check you're still on the list, you've not missed anything that they might be waiting on, and see if they can give you a rough idea what the current waiting times are like.