I am a 33 year old mother of 2 step children and 2 bio children. I have recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism and have recently completed a nursing degree. I found juggling home and university life very stressful which has had a massive impact on my family. While I have always been autistic my husband is struggling to accept my diagnosis. He says my behaviours have gotten worse since being diagnosed, while I agree slightly with this statement I feel since my diagnosis I’m allowed to be who I am and not pretend to be someone I’m not which is very exhausting. I find this really hard to understand as we have been together for 8 years and it’s only now my behaviour is a problem. The behaviours he struggles with are nit picking, I can understand this as sometimes I say mean or inappropriate things. I like rountine but can change my plans if given enough notice. I see things very black and white which makes communication difficult, however if explained correctly using direct language I do understand. Im funny with affection as I don’t like to be touched only if it’s on my terms. I do not like things sprung on me as it makes me anxious. Just lately all are problem he says are because of my autism and we are close to splitting up and getting a divorce. I feel like he has lost patience with me and I’m crying every other day. We have tried marriage counselling and are currently having family therapy but it doesn’t seem to work. I feel my partner lacks understanding, he feels I lack empathy and I don’t care for him but that’s not true. Even simple things like what to have for dinner turn into a massive argument because I’m annoyed at his lack of assertiveness and his annoyed at me managing everything. I just don’t know what to do anymore, he says I don’t notice what wrong which I don’t I need to be told then I can address it. I feel like communication and his lack of understanding about autism is the problem but I just get told I’m the problem all the time and it’s making me paranoid. Dispute the autism I am a caring loving person I just need guidance in the right direction as I’m not a mind readers and don’t understand body language very well.
has anyone else been in the situation as nothing is working. I’d be grateful to here how other people have dealt with these or similar issues
