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Dealing with Diagnosis

4Sureheart

Hi everyone, about two days ago I was given a diagnosis of ASD.

To be honest this was the diagnosis I was hoping for as it does explain a lot of things that have happened to me and why i think and feel the way i do. 

However, during the assessment, I came to realise just how different I am to to a neurotypical person. This realization has made me rather tearful as a lot of things i was 'hoping to find in the future' will never happen. The biggest one being that i will never 'feel' those feelings I wanted to feel

After a diagnosis, has anyone else felt like they had to mourn the loss of something they never realized they never had?

  • in reply to PINARELLO F8

    Yes Pinarello,

    i do feel calmer about certain activities. i won't force myself or expect anymore than I get. I'm learning to accept that i just don't have strong / any emotions and it's Ok. I'll stop thinking i'm heartless...it's just i dont experience those feelings. i must remember, though, not really to tell NT folk how i feel (or not) because it can come across as rude and insensitive.

  • in reply to Blank

    Everyone is different and unique 'blank'... and we all experience the world slightly differently. I'm happy to read that you have experienced something akin to mourning that makes me more relaxed that it's a typical reaction to this type of news.

  • I was diagnosed recently. I have found that I am now kinder to myself. I used to force myself to do things that I wasn't comfortable with because I thought I had to act like a NT person e.g force myself to go to my wife's work Christmas party even though I knew I would struggle.

    Certain aspects of my job I struggle with and I used to get cross with myself for not performing in these areas as well as my work colleagues. Now I'm able to be a bit easier on myself

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Blank

    I would guess it's a processing/reception difference rather than a complete lack.  Some things I seem to get an almost uncontrollable emotional response that's completely out of all proportion to the triggering phenomena, and other things it seems to be really slow or a surprisingly low emotional response.  Of the two, the slow/low responses are easier to deal with than the the completely out of all proportion ones!

  • I don't agree with you on the feelings aspect. The way it works for me is I do have feelings, or I do experience emotions, BUT they are slow. Like snail slow and slower. Often it's days afterwards that I suddenly realise: 'Ehhhh, I didn't like that at all!'.

    Maybe it is the same for you. The way you process emotions and feelings is just different. 

    And as I have discovered it has an advantage too. When eveyone stresses out and panicks, I can still act in a clearheaded calm way.

    And elsewhere I actually have described the post-diagnosis period as similar to mourning. You go through different processes. And I think most of us have thought back at where things seemed to go terribly wrong - and often your diagnosis actually helps to have some peace with those situations.