In desperate need of advice

So just a quick update, I’m not going to go into it fully but I’m currently staying at my parents cos my wife needs space and has kicked me out, as a result of this and some other things I know no longer feel I can be comfortable or thst my home is a “safe place” and that the social anxieties I experience in the real world, I now feel these towards wife and home. 

Something has happened today at my parents which as a result I’m also starting to feel uncomfortable and that this place can’t be a safe place for me and I don’t know what to do. 

Ive been doing a lot of reading since Monday and think I’m currently experiencing a massive ‘BURNOUT’. 

I feel I’ve now got nowhere to go to get away from the things that make me bad, I feel I’ve got nowhere to live. My world is crumbling around me. 

Hi Jason

So sorry to hear this - you've got lots going on so it's not surprising you feel like things are falling apart. If you need support tonight there are several organisations you could contact: http://stayingsafe.net/need_help_now

The Samaritans have an email service too: www.samaritans.org/.../what-happens-when-i-email

The period of time after diagnosis with ASD is often full of turmoil as we try to come to terms with things, and the people around us do too. It's good that you are reading up on things and recognising what is going on for you. It's not unusual for burnout to happen just before or just after diagnosis. 

I've had the urge to run away from everyone and everything over the last few weeks but I am trying to hang on in there. You're not alone, we're all here, and we understand how tough it is for you.

Keep safe. 

Rose 

Thank you rose that’s a very nice response, I really appreciate it. 

I think what’s making it hard as well is I’m finding it hard to understand why some thing are happening ie what some people are doing, like my wife I understand she needs space to figure this out but at the exact time I don’t understand, I know that may sound confusing, it confuses me. 

Im sorry to hear your having a hard time too. 

Thanks Sunflower I will look into that

Hi Whats-His-Face. I was looking at he Relate site just now and discovered they offer free online chat with a counsellor - never knew this - seems like a good source of advice and support with relationship stuff:

https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/talk-someone/live-chat-counsellor

Thats so true

Yea I will definitely start taking them. 

I spend 90% of my time lately on Xbox or twitch as this is how I recoup. Unfortunately I haven’t been able since Monday due to being kicked out so I’m not getting a chance to get some energy back. 

www.blurtitout.org/.../

I’m glad ur monitor has aloud you to post this reply lol. 

I wish I could be kinder to myself but I am my worst critic. 

When I had my feedback session with the psychologist she explained energy accounting which is where you have to balance activities that drain you with those that recharge you. A mistake lots of us make is to think we can run on empty - we can't. In order to keep on going we have to recharge. It isn't selfish or lazy, it's essential, but it can be hard to get other people to see it that way especially when 'recharging' means having time on our own away from them. 

As well as helping reduce anxiety there's some research suggesting that Propanalol may help with executive function. I can't remember all the detail but there seemed to be a positive effect on performance when carrying out certain tasks. If this is true it's an added bonus! 

Hi Jason I have been following this thread very closely, it resonates very much with me, I cannot say to much as I am being monitored continually (hi monitor) .I so wanted to reply, I still do, but I rarely reply to anything especially when it involves relationships .

just wanted to say yes I get what’s happening to you, also most of what sunflower has said is not unknown to me, 

I am not diagnosed, I had intended to but when I asked if a true response about who I am, and how I behave would be given the reply I got was “ depends if your going to use autism as an EXCUSE?”.

In that case I shall not bother trying.

Please be kinder to yourself, I know how you feel, and I know you blame yourself a lot, like you I can give advice but struggle to take my advice.

You are not to blame, a lack of understanding of autism is why we are misunderstood or judged wrongly, they must think we want a life of struggle and anxiety!

@Sunflower, sorry to hear your struggling after the diagnosis, your suggestion of a retreat for time to recharge and settle matches mine, a tent a cave up a tree, even just curled up in a field with a poncho around me,so long as the sky is above and no beings for at least a mile around me, 

take care Jason and you too rose. () ()

Hi Jason I have been following this thread very closely, it resonates very much with me, I cannot say to much as I am being monitored continually (hi monitor) .I so wanted to reply, I still do, but I rarely reply to anything especially when it involves relationships .

just wanted to say yes I get what’s happening to you, also most of what sunflower has said is not unknown to me, 

I am not diagnosed, I had intended to but when I asked if a true response about who I am, and how I behave would be given the reply I got was “ depends if your going to use autism as an EXCUSE?”.

In that case I shall not bother trying.

Please be kinder to yourself, I know how you feel, and I know you blame yourself a lot, like you I can give advice but struggle to take my advice.

You are not to blame, a lack of understanding of autism is why we are misunderstood or judged wrongly, they must think we want a life of struggle and anxiety!

@Sunflower, sorry to hear your struggling after the diagnosis, your suggestion of a retreat for time to recharge and settle matches mine, a tent a cave up a tree, even just curled up in a field with a poncho around me,so long as the sky is above and no beings for at least a mile around me, 

take care Jason and you too rose. () ()

Thanks Sunflower I will look into that

Hi Whats-His-Face. I was looking at he Relate site just now and discovered they offer free online chat with a counsellor - never knew this - seems like a good source of advice and support with relationship stuff:

https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/talk-someone/live-chat-counsellor

Thats so true

www.blurtitout.org/.../

I’m glad ur monitor has aloud you to post this reply lol. 

I wish I could be kinder to myself but I am my worst critic.