Lonliness

I am the same.

I have my husband and crave no other social contacts. Sometimes  and sometimes rather often not even that of my husband...

No social contacts (for me) = no stress.

When I lived by myself I did get lonelier but enrolled in many courses which helped.

And later in life I took cats and a dog. The dog owner to dog owner chat is all I need.

I do realise the risk I run though. Because if the husband is no longer there (you never know what happens to people), then I will have to call in other people to help me out occassionally :-(

Is it about agency and control of environment... the day to day has degrees of chaos.. predictability and routine helps to give balance and calm 

To some degree it is about efficiency and organisation, yes. And I do like routine.

But it is also about not really liking people much. It's fine the first two meetings and then when I have figured out their issues, I always end up thinking they are somewhat stupid for not taking my advice or at least making a decision.

I guess I prefer to stay away from people rather than getting worked up over them.

You can consider me a not so nice person if you like.

I think it might not even necessarily be the somewhat less flexible mind as one gets older. In my case it's also being just slightly done with it all.

Now if you'd ask people that know me they'll tell you that I am considerate and concerned about others. Which I find slightly hilarious in a way.

Yep. I totally get what you say about solutions. And I'm not an unsympathetic person. You may be right - perhaps it's to do with getting older.

I'm not for the us-them separation as I consider NT's the normal kind. Prople with autism just think differently (at least that is what they told me).

I try to stay away from people as I've become blunt and without patience. 

Pffft, if I give you solution A, B and C to your problem, then at least do something. Take your time and think about it, but stop complaining and not doing anything. It's fine if you don't act, but then don't complain.

I'm not so sure NT's live in a fantasy world. I do think it is a world where people mostly pretend and lie. A lot. And surely don't want to hear the truth.

I think the older I get, the less flexible I am. My mind has become too analytical, I'm afraid.

I've dealt with NTs for years - they are full of sh**. They go through their lives making excuses why they didn't do X or Y but in reality it's because they are scared little children.

They then invent layers of 'reasons' why they never do anything, and more layers on top to justify their reasons.

Unfortunately, one of my skills is seeing through complex problems and giving simple solutions.

They hate that.

They need these excuses otherwise they would have to admit they are total failures - and that doesn't sit well with them - so they are happy in their fantasy world.

Well, the problem lies with me ofcourse. I can't do the chit chat small talk thing. I have tried... But I always end up talking about something that bothers the other person - and I come up with solutions. Usually multiple ones to choose from.

But it seems to me that people don't want solutions. They just want to complain?

What's the use of that?

Granted, I have made some funny decisions but at least I made decisions.

Blank said:

It's fine the first two meetings and then when I have figured out their issues, I always end up thinking they are somewhat stupid for not taking my advice or at least making a decision.

I do that - it's amazing how many NTs are bound up by simple issues. The engineer in me wants to tell them how to sort it out and 'fix' them - but the experienced-me knows it would be bad to point out their major malfunctions to their face. NT's seem to need this neurosis in their lives - it makes them 'different' and unique.

Blank said:

It's fine the first two meetings and then when I have figured out their issues, I always end up thinking they are somewhat stupid for not taking my advice or at least making a decision.

I do that - it's amazing how many NTs are bound up by simple issues. The engineer in me wants to tell them how to sort it out and 'fix' them - but the experienced-me knows it would be bad to point out their major malfunctions to their face. NT's seem to need this neurosis in their lives - it makes them 'different' and unique.

I think it might not even necessarily be the somewhat less flexible mind as one gets older. In my case it's also being just slightly done with it all.

Now if you'd ask people that know me they'll tell you that I am considerate and concerned about others. Which I find slightly hilarious in a way.

Yep. I totally get what you say about solutions. And I'm not an unsympathetic person. You may be right - perhaps it's to do with getting older.

I'm not for the us-them separation as I consider NT's the normal kind. Prople with autism just think differently (at least that is what they told me).

I try to stay away from people as I've become blunt and without patience. 

Pffft, if I give you solution A, B and C to your problem, then at least do something. Take your time and think about it, but stop complaining and not doing anything. It's fine if you don't act, but then don't complain.

I'm not so sure NT's live in a fantasy world. I do think it is a world where people mostly pretend and lie. A lot. And surely don't want to hear the truth.

I think the older I get, the less flexible I am. My mind has become too analytical, I'm afraid.

I've dealt with NTs for years - they are full of sh**. They go through their lives making excuses why they didn't do X or Y but in reality it's because they are scared little children.

They then invent layers of 'reasons' why they never do anything, and more layers on top to justify their reasons.

Unfortunately, one of my skills is seeing through complex problems and giving simple solutions.

They hate that.

They need these excuses otherwise they would have to admit they are total failures - and that doesn't sit well with them - so they are happy in their fantasy world.

Well, the problem lies with me ofcourse. I can't do the chit chat small talk thing. I have tried... But I always end up talking about something that bothers the other person - and I come up with solutions. Usually multiple ones to choose from.

But it seems to me that people don't want solutions. They just want to complain?

What's the use of that?

Granted, I have made some funny decisions but at least I made decisions.