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Lonliness

Fuchsia

I wondered how people here feel about lonliness? I used to wonder why I didn't have friends, but since realising I have asperger's I rarely think about how often I'm alone. I have my husband but most other days I don't see anyone one else and am happier for it. I'm quite content doing my own thing and I resent the current view projected in the media that we all need a lot of friends and that only by being part of social groups can we be happy. It's simply not true. I don't wish to hurt anyone who actually is feeling lonely but I'm interested in what others think.

Parents

  • I am the same.

    I have my husband and crave no other social contacts. Sometimes  and sometimes rather often not even that of my husband...

    No social contacts (for me) = no stress.

    When I lived by myself I did get lonelier but enrolled in many courses which helped.

    And later in life I took cats and a dog. The dog owner to dog owner chat is all I need.

    I do realise the risk I run though. Because if the husband is no longer there (you never know what happens to people), then I will have to call in other people to help me out occassionally :-(

  • in reply to Blank

    Is it about agency and control of environment... the day to day has degrees of chaos.. predictability and routine helps to give balance and calm 

  • in reply to .

    To some degree it is about efficiency and organisation, yes. And I do like routine.

    But it is also about not really liking people much. It's fine the first two meetings and then when I have figured out their issues, I always end up thinking they are somewhat stupid for not taking my advice or at least making a decision.

    I guess I prefer to stay away from people rather than getting worked up over them.

    You can consider me a not so nice person if you like.

  • in reply to Fuchsia

    I think it might not even necessarily be the somewhat less flexible mind as one gets older. In my case it's also being just slightly done with it all.

    Now if you'd ask people that know me they'll tell you that I am considerate and concerned about others. Which I find slightly hilarious in a way.

  • in reply to Blank

    Yep. I totally get what you say about solutions. And I'm not an unsympathetic person. You may be right - perhaps it's to do with getting older.

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  • in reply to Fuchsia

    I think it might not even necessarily be the somewhat less flexible mind as one gets older. In my case it's also being just slightly done with it all.

    Now if you'd ask people that know me they'll tell you that I am considerate and concerned about others. Which I find slightly hilarious in a way.