Do I tell people

so today I was diagnosed with mild autism and mild aspergers, I wanted to ask should I tell everyone?

  • I would personally think carefully before I do so, as after you've told someone, you can't "untell".

  • Family, yes. Work, probably best to. But no, you don't need to tell everyone.

  • Not all families will accept it, many many reasons, only you can judge wether they will accept it or be dismissive.

     I am happy you got your disgnosis.. please search on here, we are all individuals and each have many variables to add to our life experiences.

    As for work, you don’t need to unless you feel you need support in some form or another.

     Basically you don’t need to tell anyone, it’s purely a personal choice.

     Some will accept you for who you are, sadly some won’t understand and possibly say i

    unkind things without even realising they cause upset.

    Others namely work colleagues may just use it to form an ill judged idea of who you are, 

    I wish you well and hope whatever you do it works out ok for you.

    I am not formerly diagnosed but still I tell “some” people I meet I am autistic,,,those I feel may be non judgemental and allow me to be myself.

     Yes I have judged that wrongly but the majority have been ok. I have had to explain what it means to me, sadly one or two who think they know what autism is assume I am either non verbal and sit around flapping my hands or brain of Britain.

    I do try to educate them. Anf

    d often succeed, 

    take care and be kind to yourself.

  • It is definitely your decicion but you should.weigh everything up.carefully.

    I do not think terms.such as 'mild' or 'slight'' autism are particularly helpful (nor for that matter 'severe') since they gloss over the needs and abilities of the person. You are autistic and in one way or another this manifests itself in many ways, and it is more than likely there is an autistic time bomb within ready to detonate in all its glory, in a spectacular display of what NTs would call 'unaccepable behaviour' or cause severe depression and anxiety.

    I was having great problems at work and had to declare my autism, without so doing I would have been dismissed.  My assessor helpfully produced a detailed statement as to how I was affected and what adjustments should be made, and it opened the way for funding via Access to Work for a couple of sessions a month with a support worker.

    You must have felt you were 'different' to seek a diagnosis, and however well you try to hide it, in all probability others will have noticed some quirks you may have that appear 'strange' to them. They may  not recognise this as autism, but they may make crass comments or remarks at times. My experience of 'coming out' was very positive and it does not affect who I am, it just explains things. I am not embarrassed or ashamed of my autism, but I don't shout about it to my neighbours or people I meet, but when I think it might be helpful I will say so.  It has never been a hindrance to me in that sense.

  • Hi Jason,

    My own position is this - and it is my own position, not necessarily anyone else's.

    I tell everyone.  Everyone.  People can take it as they choose.

    And those who choose to take it as a reason to distance themselves from me... well, the further away they are, the better!

    I'm proud of my autism.  The same as I'd be proud to be gay if I was gay.  I'm going to tell the world about it. 

    And the world can do what it likes with that information.

  • I would be careful about telling your employer - depending on your management and HR department's attitude to disabilities. It can be used against you if they choose not to support you - you might become 'too much bother' - so even though nothing has changed about you or your worrk, they might start to look at you very differently.

    They might start treating you like a hand grenade with the pin pulled out - just waiting for you to do something that they can make a mountain out of.

    If your employer is positive and caring about their staff - go for it.

  • I would be careful about telling your employer - depending on your management and HR department's attitude to disabilities. It can be used against you if they choose not to support you - you might become 'too much bother'

    Sorry, Plastic, but I must take issue with you there.  It's not about management or HR's attitudes to disabilities.  It's simply illegal for them to discriminate on the grounds of a disability (and that's if you think of autism as a disability).  The same as it's illegal to discriminate against someone who became pregnant, or developed a heart condition (depending on the context of the job being done).  And if they use it against a person and choose not to support them, that can be regarded - depending on circumstances - as bullying or constructive dismissal.  I'd certainly think it would be a wise option to have a union on board, mind.  There are still avenues of recourse, though.  If you're doing your job well, and there's no reason to fault you in any way, why should an employer try to make life difficult?  Another point is, if you don't say anything, you could put yourself at risk later on - if it's found out - for being deceitful.  It could happen if, for instance, there was an incident at work that resulted in an anxiety attack or meltdown, or if you were moved to an environment which was detrimental to any hyper- or hypo-sensitivity.  More noise, brighter lights, etc.

    Having said that, I do realise that some employers are more 'enlightened' than others.  Again, I think Jason should take his time - and he will know best what the situation is, and what the reaction is likely to be.  Just as long as he is aware that there could also be attendant risks of non-disclosure.