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Separation

NAS38860
over 5 years ago

Hi ro all. I am a 56 years old and I was diagnosed with Aspergers 8 years ago. I have a daughter and I have been with my husband for 30 years. My husband took the diagnosis very badly and decided that a reltionship between an aspie and an NT was bound to fail. I went to a therapist and I worked rally hard to adjust my behaviour to his needs and wants. To no avail. After all this time, he has decided to separate. I am devastated as I dont have many friends to support me and my family refuses my diagnosis and they never understood me. I also have been physically disabled for the last 3 years due to an accident and I have an auto immune disease. I have lways suffered from anxiety and depression but now they are out of control. My husband says he loves me but cannot live with me and wants to live his own life. He says he wants to remain my closest friend but I am devastated. I cannot understand what he wants. Has anyone gone through a separation or has lost a relationship because they were autustic?

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    So after 22 years together you get a diagnosis and he decides that he can't live with you because of the diagnosis? Is that right? 

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Song

    Yes pretty much. He says there was always something weird which made things difficult but he hoped it would be something “treatable” like manic depression or something. He did not want a life sentence if aspie.it is so unfair

  • over 5 years ago in reply to NAS38860

    I jokingly suggested that maybe I should go to my GP for some pills for the autism. He brightly answered “oooo can you do that”?

    yes, it’s a sad situation but it really is his loss. You cant change who you are or adjust your behaviour just to suit others. In doing that you suppress your true self and that ain’t healthy 

Reply
  • over 5 years ago in reply to NAS38860

    I jokingly suggested that maybe I should go to my GP for some pills for the autism. He brightly answered “oooo can you do that”?

    yes, it’s a sad situation but it really is his loss. You cant change who you are or adjust your behaviour just to suit others. In doing that you suppress your true self and that ain’t healthy 

Children