Introduction/Trying to figure out what to do

Thanks for the replies everyone

Regarding trying to find work, I've never really known what I've wanted to do. I've had idea's but never anything concrete, I do however would like to drive a forklift as I not long did a forklift truck course and received my license last month so that would be awesome, but it's a matter of self confidence and find the motivation to actually work because staying in one place that I'm unfamiliar with and not knowing what exactly to do in a workplace make me feel scared and anxious as I'd like to do a job right and well but not be a pain in the bum to others around me and not get fired.... Real Life sucks!

But yeah thanks for your replies everyone, all good advice and help and I will look into them so thank you.

Welcome Jack,

I'm about the same age as you (27 here) and lost my dad last November to prostate cancer. It's a really rough thing to go through and you have my sympathy and best wishes. :(
It seems that very little support is available at our age when losing a parent- all the "parent bereavement support" organisations are aimed at children, the online support groups just seem full of people in their 50s who have already long settled with their own families. Is your dad (or siblings if you have them) on the scene or is it just you and your mum? 

Feel free to PM if you just want to chat to someone who's been there (it's fine if you don't want to, and the offer remains open should you ever need it). Hope she's getting the best medical care possible and she's comfortable, anyway. x


Glad you're getting yourself back on track after your romantic trouble as well, it does seem like all the rubbish in life comes at once sometimes. Good on you for getting through this combination of events as well as you have, staying alive and getting yourself help!

Re. employment, when I was first looking for work I started by volunteering with some charities and it did give me some new ideas/insight about the sort of things I enjoyed/would like to do, as well as easing me in to social skills in the context of work. I've eventually found my niche in education (I'm a lab tech; all the fun of science teaching, none of the paperwork lol. Also I get to be the magic person who mends everything, which I quite enjoy). 

I don't drive either, it can be an absolute logistical pain! I do have an electric bicycle that I can go a decent distance on though; would recommend them as a vehicle. No lessons, no tax or insurance, very tiny fuel costs (charges off the mains). Gives you a lot of independence compared to using public transport and is far cheaper!

Emma 

Hi Jack. I'm really sorry to hear about your mother. That has to be very tough to cope with. I hope you can make the best of the time you have with her.

With regard to your ex, I know it doesn't feel like it right now but she really has done you a favour. If she didn't feel she could spend the rest of her life with you then she did the right thing to go. She may have done it in a very hurtful way and I'm sorry for that. She was right to free the pair of you from the relationship, though. If you're with the wrong person then you're not in a position to find the right person when she comes along. Once you feel able to find Ms Right you'll be free to do so. I speak from experience when I say that being alone is better than being with the wrong person. For now all you can do is to take your time and focus on what's best for you, which I hope you will do.

The trouble with suicide is that you can't really change your mind if you find you don't like it. I'm glad you didn't make an attempt and I'm just sorry you felt that you wanted to. That desire for escape is so hard to deal with.

I was wondering if you could take a look at local charities and see if you could do some volunteering. Given not wanting to be around people much you couldn't really work in a charity shop, but they're always looking for people to help out in other ways. I used to do all sorts for a local charity. It's really useful if you have particular requirements because instead of trying to fit into what a company wants you can tell them what you have to give and they can work out how best to utilise that. It also means you get to refuse if they want you to do tasks you're not happy with. I don't mean that you should spend the rest of your life working as a voluteer, but it may help you to find out what kinds of work suit you best. It may also build up your confidence in your abilities. If you then decide you don't want to continue with it after a short while it doesn't really matter. They expect people to come and go and you wouldn't need to tell them why you didn't intend to help them out any more.

The place of your own will most likely come later but if you can make even just one small step forward in your life in, say, the next few weeks you'll be on your way.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do to move forward.