• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 2029 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Introduction/Trying to figure out what to do

FallenPhoenix92

Hello everyone I'm Jack,

My first time being on here and I hope I can meet some nice friendly people here. I'm 26, Autistic and Single (Booooooo), Don't really socialize very well but trying to be more active but I am currently going through ALOT in my life.

First and foremost - My poor mother is terminally ill and I don't know how I'll be able to cope when she passes, more hard times are coming my way.

Second - Middle of October last year I had my heart broken, This girl I had been friends with for like 4 years just went for another guy literally out of nowhere and we had promised one another that we'd become a couple in the future (she was married for a few years in that time), I treated her like she was the only girl I could ever look at and she just tossed me aside..... I'm not completely over it as I will be (at this point as I type this) going to see a therapist next week to help me get my mind back on track. This happened before my mother was diagnosed and when she did get it, for a little while I contemplated suicide.... I didn't hurt myself or anything but I considered ending my life for a few weeks.

And Finally - I can't seem to find a job I'll be comfortable with. I don't really like people and I don't drive (not right now anyway) so getting to a job and dealing with people at said job and even doing the job....terrifies me.

But I really really really want to start earning for myself, have my own place and be independent, I'm just so sick of how my life has turned out right now and I need something to help me kick start a future for myself.

Any thoughts and advice are greatly appreciated :)

Jack (My profile name is my Game Name as I play games)

Parents

  • Hi Jack. I'm really sorry to hear about your mother. That has to be very tough to cope with. I hope you can make the best of the time you have with her.

    With regard to your ex, I know it doesn't feel like it right now but she really has done you a favour. If she didn't feel she could spend the rest of her life with you then she did the right thing to go. She may have done it in a very hurtful way and I'm sorry for that. She was right to free the pair of you from the relationship, though. If you're with the wrong person then you're not in a position to find the right person when she comes along. Once you feel able to find Ms Right you'll be free to do so. I speak from experience when I say that being alone is better than being with the wrong person. For now all you can do is to take your time and focus on what's best for you, which I hope you will do.

    The trouble with suicide is that you can't really change your mind if you find you don't like it. I'm glad you didn't make an attempt and I'm just sorry you felt that you wanted to. That desire for escape is so hard to deal with.

    I was wondering if you could take a look at local charities and see if you could do some volunteering. Given not wanting to be around people much you couldn't really work in a charity shop, but they're always looking for people to help out in other ways. I used to do all sorts for a local charity. It's really useful if you have particular requirements because instead of trying to fit into what a company wants you can tell them what you have to give and they can work out how best to utilise that. It also means you get to refuse if they want you to do tasks you're not happy with. I don't mean that you should spend the rest of your life working as a voluteer, but it may help you to find out what kinds of work suit you best. It may also build up your confidence in your abilities. If you then decide you don't want to continue with it after a short while it doesn't really matter. They expect people to come and go and you wouldn't need to tell them why you didn't intend to help them out any more.

    The place of your own will most likely come later but if you can make even just one small step forward in your life in, say, the next few weeks you'll be on your way.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do to move forward.

Reply

  • Hi Jack. I'm really sorry to hear about your mother. That has to be very tough to cope with. I hope you can make the best of the time you have with her.

    With regard to your ex, I know it doesn't feel like it right now but she really has done you a favour. If she didn't feel she could spend the rest of her life with you then she did the right thing to go. She may have done it in a very hurtful way and I'm sorry for that. She was right to free the pair of you from the relationship, though. If you're with the wrong person then you're not in a position to find the right person when she comes along. Once you feel able to find Ms Right you'll be free to do so. I speak from experience when I say that being alone is better than being with the wrong person. For now all you can do is to take your time and focus on what's best for you, which I hope you will do.

    The trouble with suicide is that you can't really change your mind if you find you don't like it. I'm glad you didn't make an attempt and I'm just sorry you felt that you wanted to. That desire for escape is so hard to deal with.

    I was wondering if you could take a look at local charities and see if you could do some volunteering. Given not wanting to be around people much you couldn't really work in a charity shop, but they're always looking for people to help out in other ways. I used to do all sorts for a local charity. It's really useful if you have particular requirements because instead of trying to fit into what a company wants you can tell them what you have to give and they can work out how best to utilise that. It also means you get to refuse if they want you to do tasks you're not happy with. I don't mean that you should spend the rest of your life working as a voluteer, but it may help you to find out what kinds of work suit you best. It may also build up your confidence in your abilities. If you then decide you don't want to continue with it after a short while it doesn't really matter. They expect people to come and go and you wouldn't need to tell them why you didn't intend to help them out any more.

    The place of your own will most likely come later but if you can make even just one small step forward in your life in, say, the next few weeks you'll be on your way.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do to move forward.

Children
No Data