Published on 12, July, 2020
I can't stand stereotypes and do not wish to be defined by my condition. I would rather people saw me as an individual with strengths and weaknesses, some of which can be explained by me having Asperger's syndrome, rather than defining me by a label. This is why I can't stand the word 'aspie'. While having Aspergers is an important part of my identity, it is no more important than me being female, no more important than my sexuality or my age. I would hate it if someone did not see past me being a woman or past my age, why is having aspergers any different? The disability movement campaigned for disability to be seen not as an individual affliction or difference, to move beyond individualising disability and to see it as a societal problem: people with disabilities should campaign collectively to change society, making it imperative to see the person before the disability. I am a person with asperger's syndrome, not an aspie. I share traits that other people with AS may have, but I don't share all the traits, just enough to have aspergers. We are all different, to say I am an aspie suggests conformity with other 'aspies' and obliterates the part of me that defies easy categorization.
What do you think women on average can't do that men on average can do? I can hazard a guess: women on average don't understand technology, systems, and are good at caring for others and into all the cuddly feelings stuff. Men can't do emotions, This is the received wisdom, damaging to both men and women. You say both are as valuable as each other, that difference does not matter, but it just so happens that what women are supposed to not be good at are the active pursuits in life: mastery of objects, physical acumen, intellectual endeavor. Caring is important too, but it also is self-denying if carried to extreme, and women have traditionally been encouraged to put on appearances to please others, never themselves; an oppressive state of affairs. Meanwhile caring, emotional men, are berated as sissies and wimps. Parents reinforce gener sterotypes right from infancy. How many little boys do you see pushing puschairs or wearing pink?