Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all,
Over the past year I've been living in London and struggling massively. All the autistic people I met there seemingly handled it quite well though and didn't seem to struggle with all the issues I had with it (understandably as all autistic people have different experiences) but this meant I had a hard time explaining my problems to neurotypical people who were friends with these other (diagnosed, I am not) autistic people.
Anyway I wanted to write an article on autistic people and their relationship with cities vs countryside but I'd like to hear about some other people's experiences. Would people be willing to be quoted or referred to in this article? Please state that you don't want to be referred to in my article if you don't want to be. Obviously though everyone quoted/referred to will be anonymous though. Could you also mention the city (or just the country if you're more comfortable with that) that you're referring to in the post. I have pretty much the same issues with all English cities but less so in some such as Manchester and a very different experience in Bristol for example.
Also not really sure if this is counted as a survey/research type thing? The rules say you're not supposed to post requests for that here but since the article I want to write is nothing particularly professional and more just for me (although still planning to post online) I figured it'd be ok...?
Anyway thanks for reading hope you can help x
Hi there,
I was born in London in the early '60s and never especially liked it there. Too many people, too much noise and light. Also, it always made me fearful. We lived on a south London council estate, where there was a lot of hooliganism. I watch a movie now like 'Harry Brown' and it takes me right back to those times.
When I was 14, we moved to a tiny village in Devon. An enormous contrast and change of pace. I simply loved the country way of life. Fewer people, a slower pace, wide open spaces. Even at that young age, when most people would feel the pull of the buzz and excitement of the city, I was happier in the peace and quiet.
Then, when I was 18, we moved to a small town in Kent. I didn't like it at first and it took a long while to adjust to the hustle and bustle again. Not as bad as London, but not as quiet as Devon.
I was only diagnosed 3 years ago, at the age of 56, and it helped me to account for so many things in my life. Amongst those is that preference for a more peaceful and isolated existence, which has always remained with me. I live in that same small town now and am used to it. But if I could, I would escape to country isolation. I like visiting cities. I've visited many in this country, Europe and North America. But I wouldn't want to live in one again. (Well... maybe, at a pinch, Toronto, which is one city where I always feel safe). I'm not far from London and go up there every now and then. But never to stay. And I'm always glad to leave it behind. I work in a small and busy city - Canterbury - and I simply hate it there: noisy, jammed with people and traffic, frenetic pace. For all it's religious connections, I find it a soulless place of corporate logos and jostling crowds.
I suppose the main difficulty I have with those kinds of environments is the people. Too long in a place like that and I feel exhausted. I just want to get home, shut the door and hide.
Seems quite a lot of autistic people on here are from Kent. I tried to go to uni in Kent (Canterbury) but struggled. As you say it's better than London but still a busy place. I struggle less with sensory overload there but then again I think it's just that I found a way to navigate Canterbury at night through alleyways rather than main roads past drunk students. I always seem to find my coping mechanism in cities is to go at night which is odd being that it's when all the drunk people (which I hate) are out but equally I can get by on being invisible - less social anxiety and all.
Now back in the countryside I'm struggling with the definitely not being invisible and struggling to remember how to interact with people in the countryside (I read it's different and I think that's probably true).
I did my degree at UKC. It's more like a city itself now!
The one thing we noticed about living in a small village is that everyone seems to know your every move, whereas in the city you can at least maintain a sense of anonymity. There's no doubt that there can be a different form of claustrophobia in the country - depending on where you are. I don't think I'd want to live in the heart of a village again. The outskirts would suit me better, rather than right in the middle of the community. Interaction with those around you again very much depends on where you are.
I started trying to sell drawings outside the house I'm in at the moment. Today I went out to put another drawing I'd done in the folder I'd left at the gate and some farmers had moved it inside and closed the gate as they were moving sheep down the road. Very nice and thoughtful to move it back before closing the gate and they were still standing there when I went out to put out the drawing. I should've said hello to them or said...SOMETHING but I just ignored them, put the drawing out and went back inside. Less than 30 seconds later they'd opened the gates and replaced my work in the same spot as before. Again very nice to do so making me all the more annoyed that I didn't even acknowledge them standing there.
Sorry that was a bit of a random rant...bit frustrated.
Anyway point being that because I'm on the outskirts of a very small village I'm not forced into human interaction but equally I have to go out of my way to practice which I'm not prone to doing.