Autism and big cities

I live in the city with easy access to the countryside.

In the actual city centre I find it unpleasant because many people are in a hurry and everyone is a stranger. I hate the crowds and traffic and noise.  The only people who speak to me.  Want something!  Usually money.  I get stopped by beggers asking for money for themselves and then there are three chuhlggers collecting for charity.

In the local centres it's much more relaxed and pleasent.  I still don't know the people but I recognize the regular faces.

In the city parks it's still very impersonal.  People stick to people they know and no one talks to me.

But once I go on walks in the country through the woods or public footpaths.  People I meet are suddenly smiling and saying hello.

I have no problems being alone in the forest exploring paths.  But in the middle of the city I am surrounded by people.  Yet I feel totally alone and depressed.

I started trying to sell drawings outside the house I'm in at the moment. Today I went out to put another drawing I'd done in the folder I'd left at the gate and some farmers had moved it inside and closed the gate as they were moving sheep down the road. Very nice and thoughtful to move it back before closing the gate and they were still standing there when I went out to put out the drawing. I should've said hello to them or said...SOMETHING but I just ignored them, put the drawing out and went back inside. Less than 30 seconds later they'd opened the gates and replaced my work in the same spot as before. Again very nice to do so making me all the more annoyed that I didn't even acknowledge them standing there.

Sorry that was a bit of a random rant...bit frustrated. 

Anyway point being that because I'm on the outskirts of a very small village I'm not forced into human interaction but equally I have to go out of my way to practice which I'm not prone to doing. 

I did my degree at UKC.  It's more like a city itself now!

The one thing we noticed about living in a small village is that everyone seems to know your every move, whereas in the city you can at least maintain a sense of anonymity.  There's no doubt that there can be a different form of claustrophobia in the country - depending on where you are.  I don't think I'd want to live in the heart of a village again.  The outskirts would suit me better, rather than right in the middle of the community.  Interaction with those around you again very much depends on where you are.

Seems quite a lot of autistic people on here are from Kent. I tried to go to uni in Kent (Canterbury) but struggled. As you say it's better than London but still a busy place. I struggle less with sensory overload there but then again I think it's just that I found a way to navigate Canterbury at night through alleyways rather than main roads past drunk students. I always seem to find my coping mechanism in cities is to go at night which is odd being that it's when all the drunk people (which I hate) are out but equally I can get by on being invisible - less social anxiety and all.

Now back in the countryside I'm struggling with the definitely not being invisible and struggling to remember how to interact with people in the countryside (I read it's different and I think that's probably true).

Hi there,

I was born in London in the early '60s and never especially liked it there.  Too many people, too much noise and light.  Also, it always made me fearful.  We lived on a south London council estate, where there was a lot of hooliganism.  I watch a movie now like 'Harry Brown' and it takes me right back to those times. 

When I was 14, we moved to a tiny village in Devon.  An enormous contrast and change of pace.  I simply loved the country way of life.  Fewer people, a slower pace, wide open spaces.  Even at that young age, when most people would feel the pull of the buzz and excitement of the city, I was happier in the peace and quiet.

Then, when I was 18, we moved to a small town in Kent.  I didn't like it at first and it took a long while to adjust to the hustle and bustle again.  Not as bad as London, but not as quiet as Devon.

I was only diagnosed 3 years ago, at the age of 56, and it helped me to account for so many things in my life.  Amongst those is that preference for a more peaceful and isolated existence, which has always remained with me.  I live in that same small town now and am used to it.  But if I could, I would escape to country isolation.  I like visiting cities.  I've visited many in this country, Europe and North America.  But I wouldn't want to live in one again.  (Well... maybe, at a pinch, Toronto, which is one city where I always feel safe).  I'm not far from London and go up there every now and then.  But never to stay.  And I'm always glad to leave it behind.  I work in a small and busy city - Canterbury - and I simply hate it there: noisy, jammed with people and traffic, frenetic pace.  For all it's religious connections, I find it a soulless place of corporate logos and jostling crowds.

I suppose the main difficulty I have with those kinds of environments is the people.  Too long in a place like that and I feel exhausted.  I just want to get home, shut the door and hide.

Oh man so much of what you said is exactly what I feel, thank you!

And yeah I'd noticed how loud sounds in the countryside (including negative ones such as gunshots) don't make me panic as much as city ones like cars roaring past. Sirens are the worst! I had a panic attack in the street (like drop to the floor hyperventilating and retching) a few weeks ago when a cop asked my name! Anyway I think the difference for me is that in the city there's so much noise that it overwhelms me until one noise is enough to trigger me.

When I was quite new to London I had to be rescued in a park literally two minutes walk from where we lived. Took my friends a while to find me though as by the time they'd figured out what had happened I'd lost the ability to talk and had been hiding in a bush..

Also especially ditto on the sacrificing social advantages - I had some amazing friends who were there 100% for me but had to let that go and get away from the city. It's just that it peeved me off that I have so many autistic friends in London who are seemingly "more autistic" than me and yet don't struggle so much with social anxiety and sensory overload :/ Hence wanting to write something about it and hear other's experiences. I figured there's gotta be more who feel like me and it's just that the autistic individuals in London are mostly the ones that somehow manage to manage London. 

Hi there. Firstly, yes, I am perfectly happy to be anonymously quoted if you find any of what follows useful.

I just don't like urban areas at all, and the more densely packed they are, the worse this is. For me, this is largely down to sensory issues. Being surrounded by so much noise and people milling around in unpredictable patterns becomes overwhelming very quickly, and my brain often reacts by putting me into a very dissociated state where clear thinking is difficult. Too much exposure will eventually drive me to a meltdown, and this can be dangerous for me as I have a tendency to bolt, during which I have very limited awareness and comprehension of my surroundings and can easily become completely lost and unable to communicate with other people. It is notable that, despite this lack of awareness, I am instinctively drawn to green spaces, and will often come around in a park, churchyard or even in the countryside several miles away from where I started.

City size doesn't necessarily matter to me so much as city density. I have enjoyed London occasionally, as there are so many expansive green spaces very close to the centre to take refuge in if the more densely packed areas start to get overwhelming. The cities I know best, Bradford and Leeds, on the other hand, I find much more claustrophobic, as there is much less in the way of city centre green spaces. The close integration of public transport in London by the use of Oyster cards is also easier for me to navigate compared to the often confusing and disparate rules, timetabling and ticketing systems used by competing transport companies in those Yorkshire cities.

The countryside, on the other hand, is one of my sanctuaries from anxiety and over-stimulation, and I have always had a deep affinity for it. I have sacrificed many material and social advantages in order to live somewhere where I have the countryside close at hand, and I really don't know how I would cope without that any more. A solo walk in the countryside is more therapeutic for me than any medication or counselling has ever been; it helps me to shed anxiety; gives the over-worked parts of my brain a rest; allows me to collect my thoughts and work through problems; and is the only routine physical exercise that I get. My hyper-acute hearing is also much less of a problem when I'm in the countryside; not only is it quieter, but natural sounds don't trigger negative reactions in me anything like as much as man-made sounds; on the contrary, I usually find listening to nature very soothing.