Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm struggling, in truth i have been struggling for a very long time, I think most of us do. My GP has me on anti depressants and anti anxiety tablets they don't do much for me at all.
Is there anything that does help? I think that my depression is not depression but part of my autistic spectrum thing. Assuming that it is asd not depression is there anything that can make it any better? I am not sure that I can cope for much longer.
After a minor breakdown five years ago, I have tried a variety of different anti-depressants, but recently came to the conclusion that they never did anything for me at all, apart from very occasionally help with anxiety & obsessive intrusive thoughts.
After discussing it with my Doctor five months ago, he referred me to see a Psychiatrist in order to review my medication, but when after almost two months I still didn't have an appointment, I decided to test the theory for myself. I had previously been on a fairly high dose of Venlafaxine, but cut this down to nothing in just three weeks without any problems at all. A few weeks later I received a letter about the original referral & have an appointment in two weeks time. I told my Doctor that I had stopped the medication completely & he agreed that it probably wasn't doing anything & that in my case drugs probably weren't the answer, but to discuss it with the Psychiatrist.
My Doctor said that since anti-depressants are designed for neurotypical brains, they do not necessarily work as intended on people with Autism whose brains are wired differently. I have many neurotypical friends that suffer from depression & all seem to describe similar experiences of particular drugs, especially 'emotional flattening'. My experience of them was literally nothing, I even used to joke with my Doctor that he was giving me placebos.
Not sure what the Psychiatrist will suggest in two weeks time, as long as I keep myself busy my depression is manageable, but my mental state is highly vulnerable to triggers which once activated, can leave me feeling terrible for several weeks. My depression is linked to my sense of identity, or rather the lack of one & I find the only thing that reliably helps is to be around other people, i.e. avoid being alone.
I will let you know if the Psychiatrist prescribes a magic pill that solves everything, I don't want to go back on medication that does nothing though
I wish you well with the psychiatrist pirate Santa.