trust

A person trusts people if she believes that she can assess them right, if she is not surprised by their reactions, if she doesn't misjudge their intentions. Such a person can trust her judgement about the trustworthiness of others, and can also identify the suspicious ones and stay out of trouble.

But if your experience is that you can hardly read others, or you don't understand their reactions, or random people seem to randomly take advantage of your "naivity", then, no, of course you don't trust them. It is (like in the case of family members) not necessarily the other's fault or an actual lack of trustworthiness. It may be a side-effect of the communication disorder, so, yeah, I think it's an Aspie thing.

"If I cannot read them it's safer to assume the worst."  -- At the same time, I regularly fall for conmen and pranksters. That sounds like a contradiction, actually...? I don't want to trust them, but I still fall for them because I don't know what else to do, and I cannot trust my own judgement.

My partner used to get really annoyed and defensive with me for pointing out 'faults'. If I asked her why she has done something a particular way or why she had put something somewhere she would take it really personally. We have a better understanding now as I am more aware and she knows that I am not trying to 'attack' her. :-)

I think that is quite a healthy approach.  Jon, you must trust your partner and best to suss someone out first before fully trusting them in time.

Scorpion, I do not have a diagnosis, but I would be just like you about the decorating.  It drives my husband mad!  Lol!  Be proud of your high standards, they cannot help being inferior, ha, ha. Just joking.

I have to discipline myself not to say anything actually as I know he has worked so hard on it.  I have to sort of do some self-coaching, saying to myself, it is not that important, it is more important we do not argue and fall out over a bit of wallpaper or a skirting board of whatever... I keep noticing it but learn to live with it.  I know it is maybe not as easy as that for everyone though.

Nice to know it is not just me that is like that though

I don't about whether it's common with Asperger's, but I generally don't trust people.

However, it kind of depends what you mean by 'trust'.

I'm very wary of complete strangers and all my senses switch to maximum alert level if I'm approached by a stranger in the street.

In most situations in which I have to interact with strangers, such as in shops, I have a slightly more pragmatic approach based on a cost/benefit analysis of the likelihood they'll do or wish me harm (i.e. they'll probably lose their jobs, in most cases, so the likelyhood of them doing me harm is low) - but I'll always check the change given to me by a shop assistant, for example.

Also, I would say I don't completely trust even my closest family - not because I think they (mostly) will maliciously do me harm, but more because they are fully independant individuals who I have little to no control over, or understanding of - so, for example, my Dad recently helped me by finishing off the decorating in my kitchen, for me, but, although I am extremely grateful for the help, this was an excruciating experience for me because I simply could not 'trust' him to do the job to the standard I would ideally prefer (although I know that to many the standard of work would be more than adequate) - and, indeed, now it's done there are things that still rankle me, because they're not 'perfect', by my definition of 'perfect', and there were things where I thought "why did you do that like that?"

So, no I don't 'trust' people, in differing ways and to differing degrees, according to whom the person is, but also I do, to a limited degree, 'put my trust in people' according to whom they are and the cost to them of doing me some form of harm.