How long did it take for you to stop feeling 'subhuman'?

I often find myself thinking, as a late diagnosee, that I'm somehow a second class human being, of an inferior class to everyone else. Have others felt that when they were diagnosed?

  • I agree on the out of place also. No love for smalltalk... The issue seems to be that what they see is not what you feel. In my case that's pretty obvious. I often am perceived as shy and insecure, where inside I feel very sure of myself, 

  • I will rephrase what I said.

    I don't feel subhuman.

    I don't feel superior.

    I just feel out of place and alone in many social situations.

  • For me it was more of a levelling down from the illusion of grandeur... I knew I have a rather high IQ, and low EQ, but it's only the IQ that gets rewarded in highschool. The fact that I'm very good with computers gives me a decent income. I recognise Robert123's comment that people consider me 'stuck up', 'ivory tower thinker'... This comes more from an innate fear of communication. If I find a solution that allows me to handle everything in my own little corner, I don't hesitate to implement just that solution. Other people's opinions are so tiresome, especially when they offer to do something on their side, and collaboration becomes an issue.

  • I have certainly often felt that way before I realised I might have Asperger's syndrome, but I'm starting to understand myself better now. I can't say I feel proud of it, though, I wish I could. I am sad about all the years of effort I put into trying be normal and fit in being wasted. At least I can accept myself better as I am, but it is difficult to feel proud of something which makes some people uncomfortable being in the same room with me, and which I am still too nervous to tell even close family members about.

  • I too am a "late diagnosee" and have often felt like that (pre-diagnosis) because of other people's reactions to me (or what I have perceived those reactions to be). It's difficult to tell the two apart! 

    I have only been diagnosed a very short time but have (so far) made the decision not to tell even my close family members because of the stigma associated with diagnoses of most conditions (Not just ASD). It does worry me that I will be seen as 'different' or 'other' purely because of my diagnosis or 'label', that traits previously considered eccentricities or idiosyncrasies will suddenly become Aspergers-y. 

    The more I find out about Aspergers, the more I think that actually most (maybe all?) of the things that I love and hate about myself ARE Aspergers-y but the way I see it, that's nobody else's business. I'm still exactly the same 'Me' as I've always been, it's just that now I feel as if I've found the instruction manual to help me understand myself better. And that feels pretty good.  

    I think it might be different for people who receive their diagnosis younger. I think younger people, especially children, might find it helpful for the people around them to know their diagnosis in order to help them live and grow with it and to help them understand it. Unfortunately i think that might also leave them open to discrimination by less understanding people in society. It's a bit of a 'Catch 22' situation.   

  • It certainly took me a while to come to terms with it, although I had been expecting the diagnosis (and I would have been in pieces if not diagnosed).

    But I also thought at last I could be the person who I was without putting on the act to try to be acceptable to others. 

    I did wonder how other people would react and it took me a while to 'come out'.  I am not ashamed and never have been of being autistic.  It is what I am, and if I suddenly became 'normal' (I use that word in a sort of ironic sense, as I am normal, to me at least) I would not be the person I am, in short I would cease to exist.

    Yes there are those who don't understand, who think I can be neurotypical if I am counselled and if I try harder.  Mostly managers!  But on the whole people are very supportive with only a few being a bit patronising.  Even mistaking the meaning of what people say is accepted as part of me by most of my colleagues at work.

    Managers tend to see someone who is deliberately obtuse, and awkward. I don't think it is in their nature to see that someone who appears superficially to be the same as anyone else has a condition which can cause problems that a stern talking to won't correct.  And that does, sometimes, make me feel as if I am being treated as if I am inferior.  But I naturally rebel against such things. 

    But I do not feel inferior myself.

  • I've never felt that way.

    I get accused of behaving as if I was too good to socialise or talk to people.

    The real reasons for my behaviour is that I don't know how to socialise.