What do you do to calm down?

I also find reading posts on here calming, or putting my focus onto something else that absorbs me, like reading a book or playing a gentle computer game such as sims or a word or card game. On the bus to work and back I read the news or play a game on my phone to distract me from the people around me, although the other day I couldn't cope even doing that as the bus was too crowded, so I had to get off at a stop halfway home and get on the next bus behind it which was almost empty. Thankfully that doesn't happen too often as it would get quite expensive as I had to buy another ticket!

When agitated, I'll most likely go for a cycle round the country lanes; when highly agitated I find walking better. With either I try not to engage in too much thinking, instead concentrating on how my breathing is or on any sensation I can feel in the body (e.g pressure on the feet when walking; lower back or shoulders if cycling). The 'feel' of the countryside and the lack of people therein is important; any time of year and in most weather conditions.

There's always hope so I'm glad the forum helps. I think too often this forum comes across as negative so the positive stuff is good, or even the random subjects (the messy eating one at the moment). 

I realised that I could make changes that benefited me and that's where it came from and the changes will be different for everyone but we can all make our own changes.

That's good with the art class, I have to do the same, holding back and not speaking because otherwise I can go full on and shut down the conversation as well. I also had to learn that someone asking a question didn't always want the answer, I still don't understand why people ask questions they don't want the answer to, it seems to be one of those traits of normal human behaviour that I will never understand.

Going for a walk in nature with my dogs (I live in semi-rural area). When I was younger, reading gave me great solace and books were a place to retreat (they still are). Also, i can get lost (and calm) in writing poetry.

HI MattBucks, thank you for your response. It's kind of helped me, although I'm not sure why. I think it's because I've been studying mindset for a long time and one of the major things with mindset, is to not worry about what we can't change and instead focus on what we can and I am finally in that process. 

I have modified my behaviour over the years, to the point that I don't want to do it anymore, although that's a great tip, to zone in on something, to minimise the distractions. Coming on here helps me as I find my way along my new path. I'm moving into setting up my own business, which I've been trying to do for several years, but now I have the answers to why I was struggling, I'm moving forward much more purposely now, albeit slowly. 

I think your answer gives me hope, that I will succeed, and this forum in general, is helping me a lot, particularly when I feel a bit stressed or anxious, I just come on here.

I joined an art class this week, and because I was focused on painting, I was able to participate in the conversations. There was only 5 of us altogether, including the teacher, and I was able to stop myself talking at times when I know I normally would, because I was able to see how I can easily dominate conversations and cut them off dead because of how I talk. I actually learned a lot in those two hours, about socialising, and although I don't want to go out socialising to much, it's good that I am able to modify my behaviour in a way that doesn't hurt me, in a way that doesn't make people not want to be around me and I actually enjoyed their company. So yeah, I can see how focusing on the painting really helped and I did seem more 'robotic' than I probably am, but it was peaceful and I enjoyed it and didn't feel stressed or agitated or that I was just trying to fit in. I wasn't interested in fitting in, I was just interested in what we were doing, and learning more about art. 

seekeraftertruth said:

What methods do you use if you're feeling agitated or stressed out by something, to make yourself feel calmer?

It's weird and one of the odd things personally (because I have Asperger's/HFA) is that I don't really get stressed or agitated. However I think that's more part of the long term coping mechanisms that I've build up through and since childhood. I tend to focus on what I can do, what I can change rather than what I can't do. If I can't change something I don't worry about it, take Brexit for example, it's going to make running elements of my business a lot harder (we deal with a lot of European locations, so even a small increase in paperwork could easily create a huge workload), I can't stop Brexit so I don't worry about it, but I do look to what policies and processes we as a business can put into place to mitigate issues (and we're currently looking at mitigating a no deal Brexit, which involves opening an office in Dublin) because that's something I can alter.

There are various other things that I do, I'm good at zoning into something/distractions etc. as otherwise I find I notice everything, following 2-3 conversations at the same time in public, picking up on smells and sounds no one else notices etc. So I've modified my outlook and mental behaviour so that I don't become stressed or agitated in the first place. The down side of that is that it can sometimes make me seem even more "robotic" that I probably already am.

Unfortunately I'm not very webwise .  Most of my computer knowledge is old.  And I keep my photos on the hard disk of a PC and card in a tablet.

Robert do you have a website or online space where you share your photo's? You should, I think a lot of people here would like to see more.

Good evening to all.
Because there was a lot of photography upon this page, I thought that I might have a go at sending one of my own pictures, of a Tall Ship sailing along the River Thames. This post here, is in case the picture which I attempted to post ever actually turns up here one day (!)... it also might show up more than once, so this is a kind of warning, until I can see it on my own device (to delete multiple posts of it), I do apologise much in advance...

On topic: I myself also use going outdoors, nature, and parks for relaxation, and especially if I can walk along a lake, river, or best of all, the Ocean -やった!!

Listening tot classical and (especially choral) music.

Being in nature, walking through the forest, up the mountains, breathing in the fresh air, riding my bike, being alone, researching my favourite obsession, shutting the world out

Me too.  I got dragged along by my Dad as a child and now love going on a steam train.  My youngest has not inherited my love of this though.  I’m even enough of a buff to, when spotting a new style train on the opposite platform I grabbed my camera!

Anything mechanical for me, it does a job,it needs to be understood to function correctly, it needs looking after,and if is found suffering by me and left for the scrap I will rescue it, lovingly take it apart, fix any problems and lovingly put it back together quite often with improvements to the original, paint it and polish the steel,and proudly display it with all the other semi retired items.

Each tool could tell a story, From being thought of designed by draughtsmen,fabricated by skilled engineers who then send it for testing, it proves it’s abilities and is thought of as fit for the job, expensive but quite right as think of all the people involved to produce it?

whole families depending on its success, putting food on the table for everyone involved.being there when nothing else would do,giving long service and falling by the wayside once a newer model comes along.

I also enjoy steam and went to the great Dorset steam fair two years running,Four days of bliss,apart from the massive crowds that is.

Wow, spotter, that is cool! Love anything to do with steam .... trains, old beam engines, you name it. I love the machines but also the smell of them is wonderful

How funny, I do that too, but never thought of it as being related to AS ..... but now I think about it, no-one else does it :-) (well, apart from you of course!)

Just thought I'd put this on as an example of one of my steam railway photographs.  Hope someone finds it interesting!

I do take other things apart from Steam Locomotives in case you were wondering!

Same here Robert they've had some excellent music docs over the years... I watched the Pistols Xmas 1977 one again a few nights back.

I often switch to BBC 4 on Thursday to Saturday nights and watch / listen to old pop rock music documentary,  such as history of punk/rock &roll etc or top of the pops 1984.

I can't read music but I love sitting at the piano and just make up my own melodies. That can literally send me off to another world

Playing guitar is a good distraction for me, doesn't have to be anything specific just noodling will work fine as long as I can loose myself. Watching comedy on the telly/DVD is good as is going for a walk in the country and bird spotting.