Self-Harm

Hell Anne 

Lovely to hear from you.  I do get a bit paranoid, sometimes, about saying the wrong thing and potentially upsetting people - I guess because I know it is so common 

Glad to know you're okay.  

And why should anyone laugh at you?  It isn't my scene, certainly, but Christian baptism is historically about the baptism of people old enough to make an informed decision and who make it when they are ready.  You are simply following in time-honoured footsteps, and I wish you very well of it.  I hope very much that your fellow church members continue to be a source of genuine support to you.

Have a lovely weekend.

Warmest best wishes,

Sorry you haven't offended me at all don't be daft. :)

I've just hardly been on laptop as actually had few nights out. Only to the pub with dad and then to play bingo with my 92year old neighbour but been a change. :)

How are you?

I go to see vicar tomorrow (we live opposite church) about being christened at the same time as my 3 youngest nephews and nieces. I started going church last June but haven't been for few months what with one thing and another. However i find comfort there with the people and the actual services. Hope people don't laugh at me though.

Hope you are well.

Reply soon.

Anne.

Hi Anne

Not hearing from you for a day or two may not mean much, but can you just let me know that you're okay and that I didn't offend you or anything?

My very dear friend Anne

Please don't feel guilty on my account.  You honour me with your interest and I am no less curious about you. I would love to know what you look like, how your voice sounds and so on.  It is safer for you that I don't, partly because, whatever you think I am, there is always a chance that I could be something different and even dangerous, and perhaps mostly because we can't share any information on here without sharing it with anyone who cares to join the forum.  And that could be anybody.

And though anonymity may sometimes be a pain, it's the very thing, often, that allows people to share the things that they cannot share with those who know them.

I have had something of a chilling day, both physically in that it has been raining and very cold out, and in the other sense of not doing very much and just enjoying it.  I have attended to a little school admin stuff and I helped my son recover some property of his and bring it back home before he moves into his new place next week.  I've edited a bit of video too, but that - for me - is fun, and I've dipped back into my Kindle and had a good read of "Dombey and Son" by Dickens.  He's probably my favourite author.

Tomorrow I plan to keep for a chillin' day too, forgoing my trip to London for once.  It has been a tiring few weeks and I would like to have some 'playtime' with my computer.

I hope that your church proves to be a place of love and light for you, and that you find your poorly friend in better shape.  Go easy on yourself, whatever you do.

Want to tell me why it was weird seeing the grandparents?  It would be more weird for me to see mine, of course, since they've probably all been dead about 30 years or more.  Anyhow, I hope yours don't give you a hard time.

My Granny H, I'll call her, my mother's mother, was a large-ish lady (runs in our family, among the females) who I seem to remember as very kind.  Although I saw her and pictures of her many times during her lifetime the image of her that comes to my mind is from a photograph taken perhaps before I was born and which shows her sitting next to my dad's mother, Granny T.  My mother, who has a form of dementia, tells me that Granny T used to own a baker's and confectioner's shop, but I remember nothing about that.  I do remember vividly what she looked like and I have very fond memories both of her and of my grandad.  It was Granny T who introduced me to 'condensed milk butties' and who made endless trays of all kinds of toffee on a vast old cast iron range.

I remember, too, that at Granny T's house one took a bath in a tin bath in front of the fire.  Those were the days 

I hope your nephew's recovered from his cold day.  I suspect he is rather lucky to have you for an Auntie.

Take care of yourself.  13 bunnies and one on-line friend insist on it.

Richard

Hi.

Sorry i didn't know they were the rules or i wouldn't have questioned you. Feel really guilty now.

I'm hoping to go back to church tomorrow and also visit the poorly friend after lunch if she is in and wants me to. I know she has asked for a long time about me visiting and i've not.

Visited my Grandparents for the first time today in nearly 3 months. Was weird.

Yes the other friend has a slightly big mouth and has said several things now. Which is why it's nice to see other people without problems sometimes.

I'm hoping to go a walk after dinner.

Took my nephew out today but he was slightly under the weather and so cold bless him so we had to keep taking him in cafes. He is only just 3.

Hope you've had a chilling day.?

Anne.

Hello Anne,

It sounds like you are having a tough time - I saw your post about the sick friend and will keep my fingers crossed.  I try to be gentle but 'up front' with people - to let them know that I can handle anything they tell me but that they shouldn't tell me anything they don't want to, and -literally or metaphorically - I'll hold hands and listen.  Unhappily there are no easy formulae and the last thing in the world I want to do is to sound trite or respond to genuine pain with a cliche.  I recommend the holding hands, in either form.

I'm not a believer and I do not believe in ultimate justice.  Bad things happen to good people - even exceptionally good people - and I see nothing behind or beyond suffering other than accident and a world of people who do not understand the benefits of actually loving each other.

Moving on from your poorly friend, it sounds like your other 'friend' simply has too big a mouth.  There's a lot of that about.  And 'shared' support isn't always fairly shared. It often depends on the experience and capacities of the people involved.  There are many who want to be 'loved better' who wouldn't actually have a clue how to provide that for anybody else even if they could actually see beyond their own problems.

It is so very hard, I know, but I'd ask you to be very careful of 'friends', especially if they are suffering.  Among such you will find the brightest jewels but you may also find the most serious pains in the wotsit, and you are far too important - even to me who scarcely knows you - to let the latter kind get you down 

I've just finished school for the week, of course, and have spent this evening finishing up a project I started with one of the students today.  I finally got around to building a working model of an ancient siege catapult (from a wooden kit - I'm not that clever) and we have had a whale of a time testing it out in one of the classrooms today, and videoing the results.  I've been editing the videos.

This weekend I need to help my son to move from his current accommodation because of problems with one of the people he's been sharing with, and maybe I will get into town on Sunday again.  Or maybe I'll just continue with my list of projects.

I'm happy to tell you that my name is Richard and that I live fairly close to London, and indeed I'd be quite happy to tell you a lot more but the rules of the forum forbid that and I have promised to abide by them.

Bedtime again, for me. 

Goodnight and 'good' bless, Anne.

Talk to you soon.

Affection, always,

Evening.

How are you today?

Yes the support groups are a little like that at times. What gets to me the most is that those same people expect support even though they are the ones that seem to have half a dozen support methods going on. I'm just moaning. Yesterday a so called friend at group asked if i had been washing because my hair "looked greasy and dirty". I told mum and she is furious saying "we're not dirty people". Which we are not. I bathe every day. I was so upset i went straight in the shower when i got back.

I've been back to church Lunch Light today which is a bereavement lunch group. As my best friend was killed January 2011. First time there in months so was very nervous.

You look after yourself too.

Do you mind me asking where abouts you are? I'm Leicestershire / Derbyshire border.

Anne.

Hi Anne,

and don't apologise for forgetting.  If I apologise every time I forget I've told you something and you do the same we'll probably end up writing nothing but apologies.

Six children? I bet 13 bunnies are easier.

My children these days are the ones I work with, and they're a pretty fantastic bunch.

It's a shame you felt lonely in your support group.  Was there no-one you could talk to about how you actually felt?  There are times when support groups maybe become too much like social groups and get into the coffee-morning habits where everyone pretends to be okay.  "How are you?"  "I'm fine."  Sure you are.  That's why you're at a support group.

I lived with loneliness for a great many years, still feel it now and would feel it more if I wasn't just so busy.  Maybe that's why I keep so busy after all.  And loneliness is awful and it's very, very common.

Talking to me, you're invited to talk about yourself.  I don't have a problem with that.  I like that.  And if I can be someone you feel free to talk to and that helps, that's a bonus.  I already like and respect you and am glad to count you as a friend.

Anyway, I'm writing this a bit late in the day and have to get to bed, since it's school in the morning.  I wish you a very good night, or a very good day if you see this tomorrow.

Be careful out there, and look after yourself.

Hello Scorpion

and thank you for the interjection.  I glimpsed something very fleetingly about this and did not catch up with it but, thanks to your link, I now can.  It already looks very interesting to a fox-friend like myself.  I'm very grateful to you.

I've had very few sightings myself recently - spending all my time on the computer, I guess - but I'll be keeping my eyes pinned from here on in.

Patiens said:

...the local foxes would get even more interested in my garden than they are now.  I like foxes too, so I wouldn't want to stir up any trouble ...

Sorry to interject into this thread with something slightly off-topic, but, Patiens, are you aware of the Channel 4 Foxes Live thing that's going to be starting soon?

see: http://foxes.channel4.com/

Anyway, just thought you might be interested.

Oh yes you did look up the bunnies. I forgot, sorry.

I have 2 brothers and a sister all have partners and one brother has 6 children aged 11, 9, 6, 3, and 22month old twins.

My sister is visiting from Australia at the minute. Think i told you that too.

Doctors went ok today. But i went support group after and felt very lonely so left to find my mum.

I have trouble with two friends at the minute which is nothing major and they don't even know but i am upset about being ignored and treated differently. They both have problems too but are completely independent and seem to like talking about themselves.

Saying that i've just realised that's what i am doing. Ooops. Sorry.

We have had terrible rain all day today but have just managed to squeeze in a walk with Dad.

Bunnies are snuggled in bed for the night. Not that they sleep much.

How are you tonight?

Take care.

Hi Anne,

Yes, you did tell me about the bunnies - I even had a look for pictures of the different breeds, and I know you lost one.  Bunnies are magic and I would love to have some of my own, but if I did that my cats would mount a protest march and I think the local foxes would get even more interested in my garden than they are now.  I like foxes too, so I wouldn't want to stir up any trouble :-)

My family, really, is my son who is 21 and my wife who's about a year younger than me and is coming up to her 60th birthday.  I have a brother who lives in America and to whom I don't speak and a half-brother and half-sister who live in Australia, would you believe, but I've never really had contact with them.  My late father started a second family out there, and I met my half-sis when she was about 17, around 25 years ago.  I've not been in touch since.

My real 'family' are those I meet and especially those I work with.

I hope your doctor's appointment goes well tomorrow.  A new doc may be a breath of fresh air, you never know.

Take good care of yourself, now,

Busy night for you then! :)

I don't know whether i told you before but i have 13 rabbits which keep me very busy.

I've just been pub with dad. It's our weekly visit for 3 drinks. I don't usually have alcohol though to be fair.

My sister is here from Australia at the minute. And just found out she is staying an extra week so i have her for a little while longer. Do you have any family you see other than your mother?

I have Drs in the morning but my usual Dr is on holiday for 2 weeks so i am seeing a different one. Bit nervous.

Glad to hear you are quite well.

Hope to speak soon.

Take care.

Anne.

Hello Anne

Glad I'm not too old

I have missed the forum and I have missed you too.  I still have tons of work to do though, so I've been kept busy.  Today I had a normal school day, followed by a department meeting, followed by a staff meeting, followed by a trip to the supermarket to pick up some chocolate and stuff, followed by a visit to the nursing home where my mum and another old lady I've made friends with live and delivering the chocolate and stuff, getting back at about 7.00 pm this evening....  And now I need to write a report for my school's headteacher about how I think we should try to deal with certain matters in the school.

I was back in St James' Park on Sunday, toiling through the crowds who had gone to watch the marathon and surrounded by tourists.  The squirrels were not as active as usual, no doubt because of the noise and bustle, but I managed another encounter with 'my' heron.  A lovely day, but I cut it a litte shorter than usual to get home and do some admin.  I did get to read my Kindle for about an hour and a half after taking the slow trains to and from London.

I do like donkeys.  Don't know why they are quite so charming, but they are.

Warmest best wishes,

Richard

Too old to be a friend, don't be daft. I have a very good friend aged 74 yet also know people my age. It makes no difference to me. :)

How have you coped this past week without discussion forums up and running? I started a new exercise class last night with my friend. Bums, tums and thighs. Was very busy but i stayed at the back. It was also very hard. Everything was done with heavy weights in our hands putting them above our heads etc. My arms are agony today. :)

We used to have a heron that came to the lake or canal near us but not so much lately but there is a nearby lake which has about 30 geese. And it used to have a donkey in the field. But he has been rehomed.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Anne

Hello Anne

and I'm fine, thank you.  Had a great day in the park though it was pretty cold at times and even threw a brief hailstorm at me.

There are some herons that visit the park lake and over recent months I've got into the habit of taking fish from the fishmonger to feed them with.  I only usually see one at a time but it or they have taken to accepting the food and sometimes come within about a metre and a half of me, which is very close for a big, wild bird.  Such beautiful things.

Oodles of squirrels today, too.  Most of them with mucky noses from burying their food in the soil, but always delightful.

You are 23?  A lovely age.  Ah but... me...   Well, I did tell you my little girl died a long time ago....  Whisper this, 'cos I wouldn't want everyone to know, but I'm actually 60.  I hope that's not too old to be considered a friend?

Time for bed, now, to be up early in the morning and head in to work with my children.

Warmest best wishes,

Good luck back at school. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I am 23 and i know i had a hard time at school as i was not diagnosed and during 6th form was in and out of psychiatric hospital. I ended up not doing my A levels. I wish i could re-do certain things.

Park sounds lovely. I like squirres and birds. I went a walk and fed the ducks and saw the cows. They are only babies and ever so cute. Saw lots of dogs too.

Hope you're ok.

Take care.

I'll keep in touch.

Today is my day in the park before I go back to school tomorrow - a day for feeding the birds and our very, very tame squirrels.

Stay safe

Aww thank you. Lovely to talk to you. :) Yes i'll keep in touch.

I think your cats have lovely names and sound cuter than Juliet etc. Bless them.

I'm not an artist just enjoy crafty arty bits to do to keep me occupied and out of trouble. Hehe. I also take these bits to my MIND support groups to keep me busy while i am there cos sometimes it gets a little boring sitting for 3 hours just chatting.

A friend bought me a hobby set with painting by numbers, water colours, colouring, glitter, stickers and bits in. All horse pictures though. I've started doing one of the pictures today but it's very intricate and you need some patience to paint all the tiny detailed bits in.

It sounds lovely that you have said you will paint that and i am sure you are a better painter/drawer than you think. :)

Hope to chat to you soon. Take care.

Annie x

Sorry to hear about Twitch.  I didn't know what the others were so I looked them up on Google images.  Looks like you have some beautiful bunnies there.  And 13 of them????  13 more reasons to look after yourself.

And you made a painting of a horse?  Would you believe I am trying to find time to paint a horse?  More than one, in fact.  I promised a disabled riding charity an awful long time ago that I would make paintings and drawings of some of their animals for fund-raising purposes.  I completed two oil paintings and four drawings, but I want to get a whole bunch done and sent to them as soon as possible because I've kept them waiting such a long time - just through pressure of work at school.

So it seems you're an artist too.  That's neat.  What medium do you like to paint in?  I prefer oils for living subjects, but I don't think I'm a very good painter.  Not enough training.  I bought a book to improve my drawing of horses and it was a big help with the pencil work.

Rosie and Daisy had other, posh names when they came to us from the rescue centre.  I think one of them was called Juliet, but of course they were too young to know their names anyway.  I'm not sure whether they still don't know their names - they're about seven years old, I think - or whether it is sisterly jealousy but whichever name I call I get them both.  Had to change their names - I couldn't see myself wandering around our local streets calling for 'Juliet', like some lovelorn Romeo, if she went missing.

It is lovely to hear from you again, and I hope you'll keep in touch.

best, always,