Published on 12, July, 2020
This one is an unusual one for me personally. All my life I have loved make up. Yes there has been negative aspects of me wearing it because I've either subconsciously tried to fit in with society or felt naked if I don't wear it and then that has caused me extreme distress. I've been wearing make up every day no matter what since the age of 13 (even if I didn't go out). But now I find myself in a strange sense of territory. I hate makeup, not the look, I love bold in your face coloured lipsticks with jet black eye shadows and thick black eye liner circling my eyes. However in the last year I have found I hate wearing makeup. The very feel on my face makes me feel like I am being suffocated, the desire to get it off my face immediately when I can. I love the feeling of being outside and the rain can touch my skin, I can rub my eyes in the sun, wipe the sweat off my head and not worry because I have makeup on. It's like my whole sensory experience has changed recently.
I feel me when I wear it, but I feel free when I don't. I was identified as Autistic late last year at 36 so wondering whether this is all part of subconsciously demasking. It's all strange though because makeup never made me feel suffocated before and now I just cannot wait to get rid of it off my skin. Like I said, that free feeling I have is amazing and almost liberating.
Is it possible makeup is now my sensory hell, certainly feels like it.
This is really interesting and I can relate with other sensory sensitives. I am currently in the process of waiting for an assessment and I feel like what I can tolerate is reducing all the time. I feel I'm completely falling apart tbh compared to how I used to manage and it's absolutely terrifying. Is this all part of late diagnosis?
I'm wondering this too. I'm also finding I'm being more of myself and unapologetically so too since discovering I am autistic.
These days everybody says “be yourself” “express yourself” etc. so we happily do it :) and to be clear, not being fancy or looking like million dollars doesn’t mean you look bad. Even here in this forum someone replied to me (male) that I must look like homeless. Lol! No I don’t look like homeless! My sensory sensitivities make me feel highly irritated and cause me various ticks and also pains and general jittery. So even if I look like million dollars and I have ticks, I still hear comments “what’s wrong with you”! It’s also some kind of stereotype that beautiful woman must be tuned