Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi! My name is Nicola. I am a Mummy to an incredible 11 year old daughter who suffers with trauma related anxiety and is awaiting her diagnosis for autism.
My daughter's trauma was domestic violence at the hands of her father who now has no access. Unfortunately, I have no family support and no network. As I am sure you are all aware, this journey is hard work and lonely when you are doing it with support. I feel like I am drowning most days and simply can not take a break!
My daughter's school will not do an EHCP as she masks well and has a high IQ. Basically, they explained it is a lot of effort and won't help them! Unfortunately, her school is poor at best. There is hope as she starts secondary school in September. Well, hope, more stress.... same thing! Lol
I am really hoping to feel less alone and not the 'Freak' Mummy that the school mummy's make me feel. I need to speak with people who understand.
If anyone has applied for an EHCP or been in a similar situation I would be so grateful to hear any advice you have. I have applied to all the right organisations and support. It is people who have lived it and can give me hope to keep going I need!
Please be kind to me! I was at breaking point about 4 years ago! Lol
Welcome Mummaloo
Sorry to hear what you are going through. I'm not in your position - I'm an older woman on the spectrum, but I can empathise. I was a SEN teaching assistant 30 years ago, when EHCPs were EPCs, and I remember how frustrating it could be trying to get one for a child that clearly needed support.
We often have parents posting on here, so hopefully you will be able to share experiences with someone in the same situation. Just keep in mind that school is not the be all and end all of education - I have learned more since leaving school than I did there, mainly through distance learning. The most important thing is that she is happy, and I'm sure you are helping her towards that goal.
My daughter's happiness is my only goal right now. This obviously isn't helping my relationship with the school as their current focus is attendance and Statistics. Neither or which I care about! I am a firm believer that we go to school to learn to pass exams. Life skills are learnt once we leave school. Plus, as long as my daughter is happy I genuinely do not care what exams she passes or doesn't pass. I am so proud of my daughter everyday for all she struggles through. She passes the hardest exams everyday just getting up and living! If only her teachers could see that!
Thank you so much for giving me perspective on this x