Is it just me and my specific bad personal experiences of funerals. Or do people dislike funerals in general ?
For me the whole experience leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
From being invited,. By people I haven't met in years. The two faced comments by neighbors, the social interaction at the funeral and the list goes on and on.
I will write specific details after breakfast.
I've probably been to about ten funerals and only one that was a relative. The others were because we live in a tiny community and when someone dies it's customary for everyone to attend the funeral. I never felt any of the funerals had anything to do with the person who died.
Some of the people were lovely and some were NOT, but at every single one the minister said what an amazing person the deceased was. It all just feels so fake and ridiculous to me and the only reason I went was to show support to the family.
I have preferred the ones that just involved the graveside procession as the church part seems even more irrelevant if the person being buried wasn't religious. Out of ten funerals, eight involved a church service prior to the graveside procession and only four of those people were christian.
The nicest funeral I ever attended was a neighbours husband and neither of them were / are religious in any way so she kept him at home the night before (just the two of them, as it was when he was alive) and the next day it was just all of the community gathering at the graveside procession. There was no religious leader of any kind and the wife spoke about her husband before reading out a short note he'd written before he died to thank everyone for supporting his wife through this difficult time. It was truly beautiful and heartfelt and I think everyone felt we were sharing a deeply personal moment with our neighbour. That's what i'd like mine to be like, personal and honest.
OMG that’s so funny ~ the first part of what you said. I went to a funeral recently and the guy up front was saying all this stuff about the person. I was seriously confused and couldn’t keep still, I was looking around for my son or someone that I knew, we had got split up, and I was getting to the point of standing up and saying excuse me, you can you just stop talking for a minute and tell me if I’m in the right place. I was horrified that all these people weren’t mentioning any of the stuff that that guy mentioned, that weren’t true. My son told me to calm down that this is what it’s like sometimes and he warned me not to mention it to anybody, he said people get upset. But I thought what was the point. I didn’t feel it honoured the person at all and god knows what the family got out of it but they seemed pleased. I want to avoid these people now, even though they’re my friends because I feel like their whole life is fake.
The neighbours funeral sounds lovely though. I haven’t been to one like that but I have been to some really lovely ones and some normal family ones but that last one was an eye opener. It freaked me out a bit.
I’ve always said that about mine. Simple, personal and honest and no big parades.
Exactly!! I've been sat there in church thinking "Who the hell are they talking about, I thought we were burying nasty Bill?" (names may be changed to protect identities)
pmsl that’s exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking as well, we loved her when she was alive and that’s how we knew her but who the hell is this they’re taking about?!?!? Bizarre!