Dating Agencies for Asperger People

i joined a couple of genuine autism dating sites (some are just different urls for identical sites) and i've found for men in my decade of life in Wales - my impression is you'd have to live in London/South-east to find an autism site very useful. The big advantage of youth is everyone else is single too - dating at fifty is searching in a vastly reduced pool already!

From experience i would say the paid-for ones aren't worth it unless, and then they are, you are that person - hot 20yo city-based female - who otherwise gets a reply from literally every single male on the site, like thousands of replies. If you're not, the free ones are better, as there are far more people on them.

You can usually set up a profile and search for free on those sites, but messages cost: so you can set up a fake profile and search to see if there's suitable people for your son before recommending it to him. There are also mental illness and disabled dating sites, which are better because far more active - specially the disabled ones. I personally would want someone with mental illness like me if possible, and have no problem with disability except i worry how i'd feel about catheters... that does bother me, i know i'd find them off-putting (did lots of carework, strong associations)

This is helpful to read.

I was just diagnosed a couple of months ago and I was considering signing up for an autism specific dating site, but now I'm not so sure. I've only ever had one long term relationship and, besides the creation of my son, it was difficult and a relief when it finished. It only lasted as long because I have some concerns about being old and lonely.

I don't find it difficult to get dates on traditional dating sites and have engaged in a lot of meaningless casual relationships, but this was making me unhappy and I quit using them - in fact, I quit a lot of unhelpful behaviours round about the same time which left me isolated. I used to drink to hide who I was, and who I am is not a social butterfly.

 This post has led me think that the onus should not be on dating per se. I should make attempts to widen my social circle. Which sounds very difficult indeed...

I'm not trying to put a downer on things - but having checked out all the prior mentioned dating sites - unless you're female or homosexual (not trying to be a ***), there's no point signing up to those, the majority of the users are inactive and those that are active are approx. 95% male - my own suggestion to deal with dating is to just chat to people in discord servers or teamspeak servers (if online dating is the only way u want to go), that is not to say; stalk every girl you meet online, believe me when i tell you that in those aforementioned places, they get that enough as it is, just be yourself and stuff will happen. Alternatively, try to get yourself a small ring of friends, and try and branch out from there, if you feel up to it.

Remember, people won't come to you, you have to make the effort to look for them first. (The irony of this is that it suggests people WILL come to you - but many people apply that ironic logic, and so nearly nobody looks, so it circles back on itself) Worst case scenario is the person you are interested in will say no - which can be crushing i know, but stand up and press on.

it was refreshing to see a post from the parent of a young adult. Lots of us must have the same concerns.  But I wonder whether (unless someone has actually expressed a wish to meet a partner) we just assume they would be happier if only they could find that special person? Looking at the other posts it seems the social discomfort and the pain of failed relationships could be worse than being solitary. As parents are we just trying too hard to protect and ensure happiness because that's what we do but it's just not possible? Lots of questions but I don't have answers! 

I'm struggling also to find someone out there but all the dating sites I have found to be honest im not finding them that great to find the right person. but I also feel we just have to keep trying. I don't no much about the Autism  dating sites but I have tried the normal free dating sites

Gaming. Women who are heavy gamers are usually on the spectrum. My son who does not get out unless he must, has a social life online and even met his gf online. They have met in person also. When I was single, I met my husband online as I can't tell when someone is interested in person, also I can't talk to people in person unless they talk to me and it is still very awkward. Anyhow, we chatted online for a long time on a free site, then talked on the phone for a while then met in person. It allowed us to be friends without meeting then be friends after meeting. You are more comfortable meeting that person after you get to know them a bit online.

just what i am looking for  myself i am 30 yrs old  and i am looking for lady to date wich one is best out of all these  i am looking for a good one to use  ive never had  much look on dating sites

Hi, don't know if you're still in touch with this website but i have just read your post and I can totally identify. I was searching for autism dating websites for my 25 year old autistic brother when I came across your post. It's heartbreaking to watch someone so close to "normal" want the same things as other people without autism. So frustrating. I hope your son finds what he is looking for - Autism is NOT inferiority! and he shouldn't have to downplay it for acceptance in dating I have given up for now and am very happy abate a little sad that I could never keep a relationship going.

Thanks

HMRC

I have the same difficulties (28, Male) I've had one long term relationship which ended at 24ish and nothing else since. I have been on a few dates in the past couple of years but only because others have organised them for me. Even my long term relationship was due to my younger brother setting me up with her.

My biggest fear when talking to someone is rejection and striking an initial conversation. If maybe you or one of his friends or work colleagues could do the initial leg work to get an initial date then the rest would be up to him. There is also a lot of literature on the internet which can help with dating etiquette and do's and don't.

I am OK with giving advice like this, I wish I just followed it myself...

are there any social groups in ur area for people with asd conditions. might b worth finding out. u can meet other people there. or u could try a couple of agencies. stars in the sky or Flame introductions 

I have tried both regular dating sites and aspie/autism-specific dating sites and have paid out quite a bit of money trying to find someone. So far I haven't found anyone compatible (ie. around my age, near enough to travel, matching preferences for major life goals like kids, marriage, etc). I get matched with guys all over the world (who aren't looking to relocate), or they are married, or they have kids/want kids, or they are 15-20 years older, or have polar opposite lifestyles (and don't want to compromise on anything)... It's pretty depressing. I've dated a few NT guys, but our way of thinking was so out of sync that we drove eachother mad eventually.

I'm starting to think there really isn't anyone out there for me. At least, not until AI progresses enough that I can just design someone to date!

However, I am hopeful that the yonger generation will have more luck with relationships. I'm now 30 and throughout most of my teens/early 20s there wasn't anywhere I could go to meet other aspie/autistic people (no groups or anything in my area and as far as I know there weren't online AS dating sites until recently). So for 10-15 years I only met 'normal' guys to date. I'm glad that younger people have more options available to them.

I'm 57 and have had 7 serious relationships over my lifetime - all of which have come to grief, and generally because of my difficulties.  I find cohabitation very difficult because of anxiety issues connected with control of environment, etc.  My last partner was hugely untidy and messy, and though I tried very hard to compromise with her, she did very little in return.  I'm essentially a loner and prefer it that way.  We all want to be loved and cherished, though, so I don't give up hope.  Sometimes it takes a good deal of a lifetime before finding the right one!

That's my hope, anyway.

I hope things work out for your son.  I understand the problems.

Tom

I'm sure there is someone out there for everyone. well thatso what everyone says. however I still haven't found anyone

Hi, I,m matt and am new to all this.....I,m high functioning autistic, a bit lonely and would love to meet someone to share some fun times and hopefully have a relationship.I  love playing drums and guitar, listening to rock music and going on the computer. Is there someone out there for me ?

a new dating site for people on the spetcrum, www.spectrumsingles.com

also, for meeting people in general (including Asperger's groups), www.meetup.com

Try starsinthesky.co.uk 

Evening, I'm nearly 20 now and I've just been diagnosed with autisim and I've always felt lonely and I've tried dating sites. Personally I have never really grasped the concept of slang and stuff, so I've never been able to reciprocate properly, however, I have recently found out that my county council have a aspergers/autisim friendly Wednesday night out event for us to congregate and make freinds and maybe even more... Maybe your county council has a similar initiative?

for persons strongly motivated to engage in an exclusive relationship, this might prove successful. However a, Autism is NOT inferiority! and he shouldn't have to downplay it for acceptance in dating or any other area of human experience b, our people are not evenly split across gender making ASV dating likely to be v competitive c are there safeguarding protocols? you can see why this is improtant right?

There are a few - I just asked google and got this one https://autisticdating.net/

R x

Hi there - I have to say that all of the so called normal dating sites seem to attract people who either want just physical contact or are not quite normal themselves lol - whatever that is - I hope your son finds what he is looking for - I have given up for now and am very happy abate a little sad that I could never keep a relationship going - Sylvia