Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a 61 year old diagnosed with autism and ADHD late in life, have a wife and a 15 year old son also diagnosed with autism from 5 years old, high functioning but not very independent.
I teach at university but I get so bored and lonely and feel totally stuck in my life and at times just can’t seem to take any pleasure in anything.
I feel I could do with a good therapist but I have tried the ones offered by the NHS and they were next to useless as they just didn’t understand my autism and ADHD. I have looked at finding some private therapists who specialise in autism etc. but they want £120 an hour and I can’t/refuse to pay that.
i used to drink a lot of alcohol from 16 to mask and fit in the neurotypical world, but I stopped over 2.5 years ago; the NHS CBT therapist seemed obsessed with this and I ended up making a complaint against them.
I’m rambling, so I’ll get to the point… what do older autistic people do to help with feelings of boredom, loneliness, isolation when they’re special interests no longer occupy them. I used to have a lot of acquaintances and fun before I married but I know know that alcohol was a big enabler there and caused a lot of problems for me both physically and mentally and I also upset a lot of people. Now I have no confidence to make new acquaintances and struggle with trivial conversations that don’t interest me.
thanks for reading
First, let me tell you this "useless" about any NHS support, is spot on. I mean, even if you speak to a Counsellor for years about your traits, and being an Aspie you may sound rude sometimes, or direct or or blah blah, eventually you will have a meltdown, and they will react as you met them an hour ago and judge you like total strangers. It is ridiculous.
Complaints. Oh... the last one I made, was for a moron new GP who in my last appointment fired what looked like 50 question, totally irrelevant to my appointment and made me go to a shutdown. And when I tried to explain to the complaints department I cant just change subjects like that, I am focused on my agenda for the appointment, their reaction was to call me and speak to me pathetically slow as if I was a brain damaged, senile 110 year old man.
Sorry, I read what you wrote and had to let it out. SO upset! I literally transferred today to another surgery over that, and I wont go to the juicy details, or I would take som much space you would think I made this post, my show.
So boredom. I compose music, play the guitar, but this is not for boredom so I will leave it out. If however you never did, grab a guitar, learn few songs you liked back to the day, its really essy.
But. Boredom cure for me are Games. RDO, GTA, Division, Assassin 's Creed series, Cars, Trucks, Planes, I just go in there.
Not everyone's thing, but if you haven't tried it, please do. I am 50, tempted to say you missed the gaming boom by a decade? If you did, get an XBox or PS5 and try Red Dead Redemption 2, or other open world games.
Its never too late, in fact, you are at the best age.
Works for me. Could work for you. After all, you are bored. You dont have to mix with others to have fun.
Then again, if you have done all that, in few months HUGE titles are coming, be ready to dive back to the games.