Boredom, Loneliness within a family

First, let me tell you this "useless" about any NHS support, is spot on. I mean, even if you speak to a Counsellor for years about your traits, and being an Aspie you may sound rude sometimes, or direct or or blah blah, eventually you will have a meltdown, and they will react as you met them an hour ago and judge you like total strangers. It is ridiculous.

Complaints. Oh... the last one I made, was for a moron new GP who in my last appointment fired what looked like 50 question, totally irrelevant to my appointment and made me go to a shutdown. And when I tried to explain to the complaints department I cant just change subjects like that, I am focused on my agenda for the appointment, their reaction was to call me and speak to me pathetically slow as if I was a brain damaged, senile 110 year old man.

Sorry, I read what you wrote and had to let it out. SO upset! I literally transferred today to another surgery over that, and I wont go to the juicy details, or I would take som much space you would think I made this post, my show.

So boredom. I compose music, play the guitar, but this is not for boredom so I will leave it out. If however you never did, grab a guitar, learn few songs you liked back to the day, its really essy.

But. Boredom cure for me are Games. RDO, GTA, Division, Assassin 's Creed series, Cars, Trucks, Planes, I just go in there.

Not everyone's thing, but if you haven't tried it, please do. I am 50, tempted to say you missed the gaming boom by a decade? If you did, get an XBox or PS5 and try Red Dead Redemption 2, or other open world games.

Its never too late, in fact, you are at the best age.

Works for me. Could work for you. After all, you are bored. You dont have to mix with others to have fun.

Then again, if you have done all that, in few months HUGE titles are coming, be ready to dive back to the games.

SocialistAutistic said:

I have looked at finding some private therapists who specialise in autism etc. but they want £120 an hour and I can’t/refuse to pay that.

I've been paying about £50 or less for my therapists for a few years and all are well versed in autism.

Have a look at:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/england?category=autism

If you have any other issues then there is a filter option on the top right to add this and find the therapists who cover this as well.

When you click on a therapists profile then you see their info and the price of a lesson.

If you are up for a zoom based session then there are hundreds to choose from.

SocialistAutistic said:

what do older autistic people do to help with feelings of boredom, loneliness, isolation when they’re special interests no longer occupy them.

I took the time to revisit some of my earlier life special interests - reading sci-fi and fantasy at the moment - and found these reignited the spark to get me back into it. Then thanks to eBay and Facebook Marketplace I could stock my library very cheaply.

Loneliness required you to put in some time to find others who also share your passions and then take time to get involved with clubs or forums that cover these interests - in no time you will have found some who share your take on those interests and you can talk about these and maybe more.

Hi Socialist Autistic

Yeah, anyone employed by the NHS will be obsessed with alcohol use as soon as it's mentioned - they seem to think that not drinking cures all ills. Maybe for some people it does - I'm not a health expert. But I believe that in many cases, particularly for autistic people, it just turns an alcoholic depressed/anxious person into a teetotal depressed/anxious person. Yes, alcohol can cause physical health conditions if taken in excess, but so can a lot of other things (including food and exercise). Focusing on it can make a person feel bad about themselves, leading to worse mental health.

I also think that therapy does not always help autistic people, and even if it did, the NHS won't provide it long term and private is ridiculously, sometimes prohibitively expensive.

I'm sorry that you are in this situation, and sorry if my first two paragraphs haven't been very positive or helpful - but hopefully you feel that I understand.

So, to get to your point… "what do older autistic people do to help with feelings of boredom, loneliness, isolation when they’re special interests no longer occupy them.?" - For me, it's just a case of keep trying things until they absorb you.

My current interests are reading, video games and autism. I have a kindle with a monthly subscription, so as soon as I finish a book I start reading samples of others until one catches my interest. If I finish a game, I'll keep checking the Xbox store for new ones or subscribe to xbox game pass to try others out for a fixed price for the month. I read posts on here and when a topic captures my interest I'll research it on the internet. I'm hoping I'll be able to retire early, as there are other things I'd like to do rather than working, such as the open university free online courses.

You say you have a wife and 15 year old son - are there any activities you can do with them? Maybe you could play video games, build Lego structures, or research an interest of your son's together? Maybe you could go bowling or to the cinema with your wife? 

I hope things improve for you.