Autism being used as a reason vs an excuse

ah this i thought on a bit... i used to see people saying not to use autism as a excuse and i thought that silly as its not a excuse but a reason and explanation.... but i do now see the excuse side.

but first, id say its to explain and to reason. example, if im not talking or not giving them the facial signals and they assume im hating them or something based on wrong body language then it can be used as a reason then.... as then youd use it as a reason for them to not get the wrong idea and assume you dont like them... .although likely i wouldnt say anything anyway, but yeah, if they know without me telling them then they can understand it. but i wont tell them anyway, so i likely wont even use it as a reason as id not bother talking anyway. it then requires their own knowledge of the condition and them to piece it together to see the way i am as the reason. damn, i complicated that too much...

anyway, the next is excuse.... i didnt think there was excuse but i have now see the excuse side.
the excuse side comes from when you diagnose kids with it too early when they havent even reached social development age and could actually still develop neurotypically for all we know. but then you early diagnose them and then it becomes a excuse for them to act out, a excuse to claim they are different.... when they may actually be wrong diagnosed that early and actually be neurotypical and using their too early wrong diagnosis as a excuse to act different in a way they assume autistic people would act. this is where you get them being loud angry and aggressive when thats more likely matching adhd but yet its all put on based on them being told they are autistic and trying to act that...and use it as a excuse for being bad, when autism isnt like that. they are trying to live up to a false diagnosis that was put on them too early, or trying to just take advantage of it as they think now their acting out will be allowed and shrugged off as autism.... but yeah, this only is when you slap the label onto kids too early... without the experience, without the trauma, without the suffering and realisation of what it actually is, they make it something else instead and use their way too early diagnosis as the excuse for anything. so i see that now but as i said thats mainly on kids. thats a issue of the system not waiting until a proper age where they have gone past social development age and have had enough experience and evidence of their life and their social life and actions and being.

edit: also parents can use it as a excuse to not try to discipline or control their child. the parent can use it as a excuse too.... let kid run riot.. oh hes autistic.. as a excuse... no, your a bad mother, control your kid.... my parents managed to control me and raise me right. parents using it as excuse to put no effort into parenting.... although maybe my parenting was likely smothering and ruining my social development there is that i suppose as i was never really allowed to play out with any other kids so could be that overly controlling strict discipline parent could more cause autism traits in the first place i suppose, but then the parent letting their kid run riot that kid would likely get better social development and again be wrong diagnosed as theyd be just a neurotypical on social development levels which is just undisciplined. which then would have me saying they are more adhd... but then they are likely not adhd but just had parents that were too lacking in discipline..

ah this i thought on a bit... i used to see people saying not to use autism as a excuse and i thought that silly as its not a excuse but a reason and explanation.... but i do now see the excuse side.

but first, id say its to explain and to reason. example, if im not talking or not giving them the facial signals and they assume im hating them or something based on wrong body language then it can be used as a reason then.... as then youd use it as a reason for them to not get the wrong idea and assume you dont like them... .although likely i wouldnt say anything anyway, but yeah, if they know without me telling them then they can understand it. but i wont tell them anyway, so i likely wont even use it as a reason as id not bother talking anyway. it then requires their own knowledge of the condition and them to piece it together to see the way i am as the reason. damn, i complicated that too much...

anyway, the next is excuse.... i didnt think there was excuse but i have now see the excuse side.
the excuse side comes from when you diagnose kids with it too early when they havent even reached social development age and could actually still develop neurotypically for all we know. but then you early diagnose them and then it becomes a excuse for them to act out, a excuse to claim they are different.... when they may actually be wrong diagnosed that early and actually be neurotypical and using their too early wrong diagnosis as a excuse to act different in a way they assume autistic people would act. this is where you get them being loud angry and aggressive when thats more likely matching adhd but yet its all put on based on them being told they are autistic and trying to act that...and use it as a excuse for being bad, when autism isnt like that. they are trying to live up to a false diagnosis that was put on them too early, or trying to just take advantage of it as they think now their acting out will be allowed and shrugged off as autism.... but yeah, this only is when you slap the label onto kids too early... without the experience, without the trauma, without the suffering and realisation of what it actually is, they make it something else instead and use their way too early diagnosis as the excuse for anything. so i see that now but as i said thats mainly on kids. thats a issue of the system not waiting until a proper age where they have gone past social development age and have had enough experience and evidence of their life and their social life and actions and being.

edit: also parents can use it as a excuse to not try to discipline or control their child. the parent can use it as a excuse too.... let kid run riot.. oh hes autistic.. as a excuse... no, your a bad mother, control your kid.... my parents managed to control me and raise me right. parents using it as excuse to put no effort into parenting.... although maybe my parenting was likely smothering and ruining my social development there is that i suppose as i was never really allowed to play out with any other kids so could be that overly controlling strict discipline parent could more cause autism traits in the first place i suppose, but then the parent letting their kid run riot that kid would likely get better social development and again be wrong diagnosed as theyd be just a neurotypical on social development levels which is just undisciplined. which then would have me saying they are more adhd... but then they are likely not adhd but just had parents that were too lacking in discipline..