Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m Female, 35. For as long as I’ve remembered I’ve had an obsession for certain people, usually older women (or girls when I was a child). In a completely non sexual way. When I was younger I would just stare at people which at the time I didn’t notice what I was doing, I remember once another child saying “have I got a telly on my head” and my friend had to explain it was because I was staring at them. Then in high school I’d be so focused on watching how groups of girls interact with each other. I’d get to know people so well by watching both in person and on social media, that I felt I knew them very well.
Some of these people I’d make up imaginary situations in my head, such as that they are my family members and look after me. Which is another thing I’ve always felt I needed to be looked after but unsure why. It all sounds very odd and I still do this now but I’m unsure why. I don’t know whether these are autistic traits or whether I am just strange.
I feel something similar and I think my first post here was about the same thing. There is this one person I liked to observe, this was also non sexual though it might have been romantic in some ways, not sure. I still haven't gotten over it despite not seeing that person in years, I still think about them. My best conclusion has been that the thought of them fils some void.
I guess your situation is different though.
I have a few people like that. Some I haven’t seen for years, some I search endlessly for on social media also.