Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi.
I have an official diagnosis recently. Since 2.5 years I have been separated and think that it will be great. it's not bad, I somehow take over situations, I have only a small problem with myself ...demons appeared ... fear, memory loss on the stress background, as soon as I enter the group I start to behave like a child in the fog .. the worst is from last year ... I came up with the idea of a volunteer, since it gets along with the doctors or school, this idea that maybe I will try ... after half a year I stopped, because I behaved like in depression, I could not normally speak etc .. in the meantime I started studying .. in the social department - education, working with children ... think that since the last 19 years care kids, I could go on, maybe I would go on ... it went even worse ... I forgot my name on the exam ... I go to Holland with my children for the holiday, I cant sleep... I would best swap myself in stone ...
does not show my feelings to anyone, especially children ... I feel terrible ... today I thought to go back to ex, because it would give me some stabilization, it was not wonderful with him, but I did not have such flights, as now ... I feel that if I do not do something, I fall down and I do not up ... trace my inner strength, I have no motivation ... I feel like I'm extinguishing
Sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. If you have coped better in the past, you probably will again in the future. Do you feel like you are out of practice (or 'rusty') in talking to people? Do you think you are more isolated than you want to be?
There are probably techniques to help with your memory and training to help you in work (paid or unpaid). I hope you find some good support, whether from friends, family or professionals.
how I talk with someone 1: 1 is ok, somehow it works ... but in a very social group, I disappear, I can do nothing ... I behave as if I fell from the moon ... especially as someone starts to talk to me....generally I have great memory ... but because of stress I forget everything ...as for isolation ... it is just the opposite ...is a lot of socialization..
another probelm that I always did everything myself and I felt good about it in a squat ... but the last two years have gone over me, because I had to go out to the people and I can not do it myself anymore .. I do not know how to explain it ...